A Long Interlude

I was admiring the serene view of the lake behind my Grandma's house, when I received a message from Harry. We still haven't seen each other for a long time. He was flying a lot in different countries. I remembered leaving KL in sadness as I was not able to say goodbye to him.

"Baby, where are you?"
"I am still at my grandma's place. It is an isolated island in the Philippines. We can bathe here naked Darls!" I replied, sending him picture of the lake.

"This is sad baby, why did God wants us to be away from each other?"
"I don't know Darls. Let us not lose hope. Someday we will see each other again."

"If I buy you ticket, would you fly to be with me? I am tied here at the moment so I cannot join you." This was the second time he asked me to be with him.
"Uhmm, what will I do there Darls?"

"You can keep my bed warm. You left an impression in my mind, baby. I want you with me. I miss that baby between your legs."
"But I can't fly Darls. I just told my dad I that I will stay here for few months."

My mind was toying with the idea of telling my family that I have changed career to become a full time pussy cat err what exactly was the job again? The job location is any private corners where one can bend over and the duration is unknown. Salary was not discussed. But there will be food, accommodation, some allowances, and perhaps orgasms are included.

My parents will surely die of heart attack. Whatever happened to their daughter who, as far as they know, is an epitome of chaste virtues?

"I need a wife a keep me warm." Yeah that too! The threat of being attacked by a jealous wife is part of the whole package.

"Ohh so your wife is not there with you, are you alone in there Darls?" I meant this to be a jest. Of course he is married!

I was really sure that he is married. (Married nga ba?) Fuck! One minute he was typing his response then cleared it, then typed again, then cleared it again. It took him few minutes to respond. What have I done? Tell him not to answer that. Nah! Just let him face the question. Antoinette, you are crazy! Part of me doesn't want to know. Please dont answer that Darls, I was just kidding! Another part of me was just waiting. Ang labo!

I purposely avoided asking personal questions lest I will be forced to answer one. So nasaan ang hustisya? I cannot stop a sent message.

"I have a daughter but I don't have a wife."

"Wow! Aren't you lucky you have a daughter, Darls!" Since we were chatting, he didn't see how I was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey Darls, I will see you again. I promise." I said returning the topic back to square one, which is a relatively safer topic.

"When?"
"Someday. It's in my plans." I said.

"What are plans without action, baby?" Harry, the engineer-boss was back.
"I know, I'm on it Boss."

Then I vanished. I don't know what came over me, it was partly because I was 'really' terrified of committing to someone. I made myself busy to avoid thinking about him. I vowed that I will only disturb his life again, when I am back in Malaysia. That was the last conversation we had. I rarely go online in Whats app. After two months he was just gone too, I never heard from him again.

My holiday ended when I had to return to Manila to take some short courses. Luckily, Ron offered a space in his new place, since the properties I manage are all rented out.

When I arrived in Manila, I found Ron sleeping. I was just standing near and not waking him up. But he stirred when he felt my presence.

"Napanaginipan ko na may angel. Nandyan ka na pala, Antoinette."
"Ron!" I exclaimed as I hugged him tightly.

"Sorry di na kita nasundo. Kagagaling ko lang sa night shift."
"Okay lang yon. Sge tulog ka lang. Don't mind me."

"Antoinette, yong mamaya hah?"
"Kailangan talaga ako sumama? Can't I just rest and sleep here?"

"Sge na babe."
"Okay. Sge na nga."

Ron invited me to join their company event that day. It was the first time that I get to meet the people he worked with. The men have been together for many years that their wives and girlfriends are also already best of friends.

Ron introduced me to the men and their women, so I just flashed my signature reserved smile as I waved my hand.
"Hello. It was nice meeting you all." was all I can say.

I let my long hair flow freely. I also wore a light make-up (as in woke-up like this look lang). I was wearing a dress from Mango and paired with some flats. Ron is the type of person who is more refined in his taste in clothing. I was just trying to match his image, which was simple but elegant.

I saw that the men were eyeing me secretly and they were smiling (parang kinikilig) and patting Ron's shoulders many times. I remembered Ron telling me that one guy accidentally saw my picture in two-piece bikini, as he opened his messages in messenger. It created a ruckus that they flocked around Ron and pestered him to ask for more photos from me.

The wives were busy chatting and I think they are also about my age. One woman glanced at me and remarked.

"Girl, ganyan din ako kaganda dati." She was chinita. They all burst out laughing.
"Maganda ka pa rin naman. Bakit ano nangyari?" was she abused or something?

"Wala napabayaan ko lang."
"I see." Men wont tell you that you've gained weight. But they are visual creatures, they discuss female figures amongst themselves. Ron told me before that one guy was frustrated the he couldn't tell his wife that she already looked like a whale.

I was out of place with the female partners and the night was saved when Ron's female colleagues arrived.

"Sya si Antoinette?" Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened.
"Oo ako nga, bakit?" I asked smiling uncertainly as she was unable to speak for some time.

"Happy to finally see you Antoinette! Ang ganda-ganda mo pala sa personal! Ay grabe, I love you na." I guess she was just being too friendly.
"Ngek! Straight ako girl. Pasensya na hahahah."

One guy was brave enough to shake my hand, he voluntereed to take pictures. More of pasimpleng kumukuha ng pictures. Galawang breezy hehe.

When the event ended, the men teased Ron that maybe we still need to go somewhere, ehem ehem. Ron just smiled while he placed his hand on the small back of my waist.

"Gusto mo manood tayo ng sine, babe?" anyaya ni Ron.
"Uwi na lang tayo, I really want to sleep. Sorry Ron, I was not a good company today."

When we reached Ron's place, I just brushed my teeth, wiped my face, and climbed to bed. I stalked Harry's FB one more time to read if he shared new inspirational messages.

He doesn't know that I am reading these. We aren't friends in FB as I haven't given him my full name or my personal email address. I just searched his FB from his email address.

Harry shared this on the same day he told me that he doesn't have a wife. "When wrong people leave your life, the right things start happening."

He shared this on the same day he last opened his Whats app. "Give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence."

I thought wistfully of Harry before passing out in deep slumber.

I was awakened when I felt Ron's fingers slipped inside my undies. Ron was behind me as I slept facing the glass sliding door on my left. His left arm was under my body and his palm was cupping my boob and alternately playing with the nipple. His other thumb was rubbing my slit, enticing the moisture.

I did not move. It is unlikely that he will stop though. He knows me. Few more of these and I am a willing female in his arms.

He unfastened my dress and brought the sleeves down, to reveal my naked back. He kissed my back, trailed small kisses on my neck up to the back of my ears. I almost stopped breathing. When he turned me around and carefully pulled the dress lower to expose my breasts, which looked like they wanted to break the constricting dress anyway. Ron immediately devoured one breast that I arched my back to just let him feast on me. I sighed and released a long lustful moan. Ron latched in on one nipple and was sucking and licking gently.

"Bakit parang lumaki suso at nipples mo?" He knew that I was awake. I think Harry was the culprit, he loves to play with my breasts. As far as I can remember, I had to increase my bra's cupsize months after.

"Uhmm I don't know, they just grow bigger I guess." I sighed as he transferred his attention on the other breast.

"Di ko na matiis. I want you now babe." Ron, slid my panty down and spread my legs. My cunt was thoroughly lubricated and was glistening with moisture. He placed himself in between my legs and pushed his one-eyed snake inside my hole. I moaned again as I felt him filling me. He wanted to feel my breasts so he locked our chest in a tight embrace.

"Ron, ohh... ano to, ano gusto mo?"

"Ikaw. Ilabas mo dila mo, babe." I slowly opened my mouth and showed my tongue while he was fucking me.

"Ang libog libog mo tingnan, babe. Uhmm Uhmm. Sarap ba. Open your mouth wider, ilabas mo pa."

"Oo Ron. Uhhh huh ahhhhh"

"If you can only see how beautiful you are. Tirik na mga mata mo."

"Ronn Uhh huh, why are we joined again? Ron, babe it is too much." He teased my tongue with his tongue and sucked it as he kept on thrusting in and out of my pussy.

"Ronn, babe, ohhh."
"Masarap? Namiss mo to?"

"Oo."

He then placed two fingers inside my mouth and I sucked them also. Ron was a different animal in bed. He was just different. He was the best sex partner I ever had.

I placed my hands on my breast, as if I was offering them to him. He squeezed my tits painfully that I was yelping in both pain and pleasure.

"Aray Ron... aray Ron.. Ahhhhhh, fuck! Fuck! Malapit na akuu"

I couldn't see our joined body as there was not enough light. But I can feel Ron as he rocked his hips and kept his onslaught in slow rhythm deliciously fucking my very permissive cunt. My pussy which was under constant erotic attacked, was slowly gaining strength it started to contract around Ron's dick that he stopped, his eyes closed, and he was gasping for air.

"Babe, grabe ang pussy mo. Uhhhhh... Ginagatasan ako babe. Hayup ang lupit. Ahhhh... Malapit na rin ako."

"R-ron, w--wag muna. Ahhhh shocks! Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Ron, grabe baon na baon na naman ulit yong titi mo. Ahhhhhhhhh" My orgasm was so strong that I shook the entire bed.

"Ayan na rin akuuu. Ahhhh ang sarap mo... ahhhh... I love you." He rammed his dick deeper and shot his load inside, he knew I just finished my period.

"Nakalimutan ko na kung gaaano ka kasarap, Antoinette. Muntik na maputol titi ko sa sarap ah." Ron whispered as he stayed on top of me, licking the sweat on my neck. We were both trying to recover our breaths.

For split seconds I thought of Harry.

I really don't want to have sex with Ron again. I said no at every opportunity, except one other time...

In Kuya OFW story, there was one member who commented that, if the girl doesn't take a bath... then nothing will happen. I want to try that so for two days. After two days I was already fanning myself sick. But I still brushed my teeth. I can't sleep without that at least.

I was watching Kalyeserye reply in you tube, when he arrived. I wasn't paying him much heed. He went to the bedroom immediately and was kissing my face.

"Babe, uhmm uhmm ang bango-bango mo naman." He said in between kisses.
"Liar! Di pa nga ako naliligo eh."

"Di ka pa naliligo sa lagay na yan?" Gulat na tanong nya.
"Yup mag two two days na. hehehe" FSS peps are really brilliant! Toinks!

"Eh bakit ang bango bango mo pa rin. Ilagay mo nga muna yong laptop sa tabi. Kanina pa ako nag-iisip na naghihintay ka sa akin sa kama eh."

"Eh Ron, teka lang sandali."
"Oo sandali lang to."

He pulled me to the edge of the bed, pushed my legs together, pulled my panty a bit lower, and pushed his way in. I couldn't say anything. Then I almost died in horror as I watched my pretty pink laptop dropped to the floor!

I like Ron better now that he has matured. He is no longer the possessive man that he used to be.
He is not as romantic as Nathan or as accomplished as Harry, but he always looks after me. I don't know what happened between him and his ex. But he came back to me. He told me it was me he truly loved. He told me that he wanted to grow old with me. He asked me to forget Nathan so we can build our lives around each other again. I am okay to spend forever with Ron. I'm also okay, if I don't. Ang labo ko!

The problem is that I couldn't tell him that I have discovered that am incapable of loving any man. I never felt love. I have never fallen madly and deeply in love. I never had anybody who got away. I never had my heart broken. I have no love issues. I just haven't felt my heart beat for anybody.

How can I tell him, that I have one last quest to see if Harry was 'The One I Love"?
If it wasn't Harry, then as I said I am okay to spend forever with Ron.

I am now back in Malaysia and this time I was assigned in Penang. Before I left, I had my hair cut short so I would look less attractive to the opposite sex and will just do my job without any adventures on the side. Which is not very effective by the way,as every time I enter a room or a see a place, almost all of the men's head will lift to stare at me.

Every day, I was debating within myself to call or not to call Harry. The more that I tried to forget Harry, the more that I was aching to call him. Finally, I gave in and dialed Harry's numbers but none of them are working anymore.

I logged in to my Antoinette email and sent him a message.

I told him that I was back in Malaysia and I wanted to see him if that's okay. I also said that if he responds to my email, I will reply with my new number. But if he doesn't, for whatever reason, then it is okay.

Harry replied the next day. He apologized that his response was not soon enough. He told me he is in the US and won't be back until January next year. What a relief, I also don't think that I am ready to see him again anytime soon.

"So shall we see each other this January?" I asked him in the email, I just want to manage my expectations.

"Are you sure you want to make me happy?"

"If seeing me again makes you happy."

"I am always happy when I am with you."

"Harry, I don't want to hope too much. In case January doesn't come. I just want you to know that it is okay."

"Please have a little faith."

"Okay."

He gave me his US number so we can keep in touch in Whats app again. I just created the new contact in my phone and slept peacefully.

The next day, I opened Whats app and noticed his profile picture that he used with his US number.

When I saw what it was, I was biting my lips in disbelief. Why couldn't he tell that to me straight? I would always understand...

It was just some share quotes.
"If you have to chase someone down to spend time with you, they are not deserving of your time. Spend time with the people who are truly interested in you"

Was that message meant for me? I admit I did chase him a little bit I demanded his time. He was the only reason why I accepted this new assignment in the same country. I just lost my purpose for coming here.

That night, I understood what unrequited love meant. He made me feel as if I wanted him and he doesn't want me. I was tempted to wallow in self-pity. No wonder it drove my beautiful sister mad. When the guy she loved did not choose her, she was so heartbroken that she lost it. At least she found him before her sanity left her. Still that shouldn't be the measure of true love, right?

It is so unlike Harry to play games. But I don't really know him that well yet.

So I have two options, I can go quietly away again 'for good, this time' without drama. Or send Harry a message that I was sorry that I disturbed his life again and that this lapse in judgment will never happen again. huhuh (with a little drama hehe).

But, I really wanted to see him again. No matter what happens I am seeing him coz this is going to be the last time that I want to be assigned here. So I sent him a different message.

"Hey, I read your status message. You made it sound as if there is this crazy woman, who wanted to lock you in a cage. Please relax, Darls. A time asked is just a little time. I didn't ask for forever, just so you know. To deny others who requested to spend time with you is pure selfishness."

"Welcome back darls. I miss you." Huh? What?!!!

After my long absence in whats app my first message was an offensive opening and his message was to welcome me.

"Darls, if you don't really want to see me. It's okay. I wouldn't take it against you."

"Baby, what are you talking about? I am eagerly waiting for fall to be over so I can meet you again. Happy thanksgiving day, Darls." Was the brief response of this guy who is not interested in seeing me. I wanted to pull my hair, then I remembered I had it cut short.

"I was concerned that things have changed and I was blissfully unaware."

"On my side everything is good"my side was ....

"I hope that we are looking on the same side Darls coz I miss you more today."

"I miss you daily, Darls."

He changed his profile picture after that. It is now showing his photo, he was standing tall, with that impossibly long legs. His bulge was a feast to my eyes too. Not a bad sight at all. But it was his eyes that I longed to see again. I was hoping to see more than a glimpse of his being. I also want him to see me as more than just a body.

I saw Harry's latest shared message in FB "When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart."

---
Because of Harry I have learned to send my naked photos to him. I took it more of an art than to arouse sexual desire.

"Wow you are really gorgeous."

"Am Not"

"Yes you are."

---
It was 9pm and I was thinking that he was still asleep due to our time zone difference. I was reading our conversation history. I was also listening to Whitney Houston song and subconsciously typed part of the lyrics and sent to him.

"I wanna run to you..." huh! What the hell!
"I am ready." He responded right away.

"For what?"
"Anything from you, anything you want. I love you." (Sows! Maliit na bagay, Kala ko kung ano. Hehehe)

---
I dedicate this story to FSS people who asked for new story. These confessions have no other place but here.

love
Antoinette