Her Eyes on Me

The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera keeps on playing in my head that night...

It started with just one innocent getaway night out, just as we are about to graduate from one of the prestigious Architecture universities along U-Belt.

"Hey girl, cheer up!" Sam excitedly pull me next to her. She can't help but blabber what we will do and the things we will see once we are out of the university just few weeks from now. I can't even wait, this is the big break I needed. I am practicing my degree in one of the biggest firms in Makati when it comes to Real Estate and Development. I just had my interview and I passed everything with flying colors.

"Hey, chin up and let me put some color on your face!" Sam cut me out from day dreaming which is technically incorrect since it is almost past eight in the evening now. She even commented that I have great bone structure especially my cheekbones if only that it is make up instead of charcoal smudges and ink coming from my plate designs that put colors in my face. What should I do, I can't help it and besides I am studying hard to be an architect not someone that works as an eye candy for men especially older men.

She turned me around and beamingly smiled, I can see her reflection in front of the mirror. Like an artist proudly presenting her masterpiece for the world to appreciate. From an artist's point of view I'd say that she did a great job in mixing the colors, she made my eyes look lovely and she even put a pinking blush on my pale face. My face looks perfect and I can't believe it's my own face that I am staring at. Then I feel someone grabbing me by my hair.

"Hey, stop it!" I shouted to Sam as I pull my head away from her.

"Look missy, I need to brush and style your hair. You needed a new hairstyle to go along that almost perfect face, don't you?" She teasingly grin back at me as I let her do her art or should I say "MAGIC!".

I stand there looking skeptic, I just wanted to go home but she planned this few months ago and won't stop blabbering for like months about how this will be a super fun night. I can still remember her telling me straight to my face that it will be another word stricken out of our bucket list. Well I don't have a list per se but someday maybe I could use one.

I can't believe that she's doing agreat job making me look presentable. I feel like I kind of starting to like my new look. She removed my blazer which I snatched from my dresser before we left my dorm room.

We've been best of friends for like a year now. When and where did we meet would be a long story to tell, maybe one of these days. I might tell you that story.

"Come on, let's go!" She excitedly pull me out of the restroom. I am cherishing the red dress that my mom gave me last year for an acquaintance party that I didn't go to. I think if Sam made an art work and I am the artwork itself I'd say she did a very good job in turning a trash into a work of art. It gave me that boost of confidence that I really lack since the first grade.

She parked her car in a vacant lot, turn off the car stereo and the car engine. Sam owns a black SUV, I don't know where she gets it or what her family background is. She never talks about them. I know that Sam lives in Laguna in a two bedroom house.

"Sam, I can only see few houses and abandoned lots. Where's the party?" I asked her as we are walking.

"Almost there, just turn left on the next block" She said as she neatly arrange her body hugging short black dress.

True enough I started to hear loud music, it wasn't a fraternity house. It is just a rave party organized in an abandoned lot. There were lights, colorful flashing lights. Red, blue, white and yellow lights that automatically made me dizzy. I am about to put on my eyeglasses but Sam stopped me. She reminded me that I already have my contact lens, It is barely there and I can't feel it that much that's why I instantly forget about it.

There is drunk fratmen everywhere, college dudes having fun. Maybe this is what they describe as the YOLO Attitude (You Only Live Once). There were drugs, sex and a lot of booze, this is sin city and Sodom and Gomora of the 21st Century.

Someone hand me a colored paper cup and he shouted from the top of his lungs something inaudible. "Enjoy the party honey!" If my ears and my mind works perfectly I think that was what he said.

The line is that long, if you wanted to think and have peace of mind this is definitely not the place and time for you to be situated in. And yes I fogot I have Sam, I can't see her nor smell her Melon Cucumber Mist perfume. It should be the smoke coming for the party goers' cigarette or the mixture of sweat and perfume for each and everyone dancing in the middle of the field.

I'm starting to get bore when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Oh Sam, here you are!" I gasped and hurriedly turned and hug her. Err it wasn't Sam from the smell of this person's musky perfume, his broad shoulders and his hard chest. Oh my God! I am starting to panic and slowly remove my arms that were hugging him as tightly. I am about to turn away and run as fast as I could.

"Hi there, where do you think you would go?" I suddenly heard a husky and very manly voice coming from the guy I just hugged by mistake.

"It is my turn to go get my cup of beer, mate" I stutter but I manage to answer. Still not looking at him, I drink the beer all way down till the last drop. Good thing it is so cold that I didn't taste it.

"Bottom's up!" He said as I hand my cup to get my second batch of beer.

"Sorry," I turned at him blushing. I dunno if it is the beer taking effect or the situation that just happened earlier.

"It's okay if you'll tell me your name. We have nothing to talk about regarding you hugging me which by the way you can freely do again if you like to" He teasingly smiled at me.

"That was just a mistake..." I retorted. "...I'm Ah... Sam... and I really really have to look for my friend."

I run as fast as I could, I am panting when I reached the other end of the field.

"Hey!" someone yelled at me.

"Don't you have any friends to talk to?!" I shouted behind my back but much to my surprise it was Sam. With a puzzled face maybe from what I just said, she told me that we have to go for she has something to do in the morning. When I checked my watch it was like Twelve in the midnight.

I nodded for approval, started to walk and never talk again up until I feel like I'm about to throw up and pee at the same time.

Sam pointed to a vacant abandoned lot. And I hurriedly run to do my thing. I left her waiting and I can see her from my location lighting her a stick of cigarette. She's rubbing her arms for it was really cold outside.

I'm about to zip up when I saw five guys approach her. I don't know what they were talking. I throw up again and when I look up, they were holding her and someone even covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming.

I feel a little sick and a little panicky. They were walking towards my location, I ducked and take cover. Afraid that they would I knew where I am.

I take my purse and look for my phone, my heart is beating fast. I started to dial 117 but then again my phone went dead. What should I do, I heard Sam begging them to stop what they are planning to do. That if they want money she could give them her car key and all her money including her ATM Pin.

They were busy dragging her few feet away from my location. I can see their shadows towering over her. She's sobbing and crying so hard, she is searching for me. Is she asking for my help but she knows that I can't do anything. I'm a little weak because of the alcohol I drank the past few hours that we're in the rave party. What am I thinking and then our eyes met. She is moving her head from left to right. She just set her eyes on me, and never gaze back at her attackers. They were holdling her and pinning her down but still she kept her eyes on me. She doesn'y care what would happen I can see it in her eyes, I can see the resignation, her desire to fight back and struggle is now gone. All the five guys are half naked now, they used their shirts to tie her up. Four guys were holding her, one on each hand and leg. From time to time she will cry out from the pain that they caused her. They slapped her as hard as they could, I can see the frothing blood from her red lips. Sam is my anchor I should be her anchor now. I should look strong for her for she draws her strength from me now. She fixed her oyes on me, the leader of the group with a shiny cross pendant started to remove his belt. The guys holding her legs started to force her to make a gap between her tighs. They pulled her legs apart and stopped when they feel like they have the right angle and position. All of them have eyes burning with desire, hot burning lust of insatiable demons that's how they look for me.

The leader started to kiss her forcefully kiss her until she's suffocating from disgust and resentment. He started to tear his way to her black short dress. He started peeling her undergarments, and I can hear her pleading him to stop doing what he does. All I can see is his smug face, grinning with desire illuminated by the moonlight.

I wanted to help her, to come to her rescue but I can't move from fear. Fear of putting myself in danger and wasting Sam's only way to be rescued.

She's completely naked now and I know that each guy was beaming with pride for their accomplishment. They wanted to force their way inside her one by one but she insisted and she struggled even if it pisses them off. She won't give up without a fight this time; she may have a renewed strength and will to survive. They hit her with their fists and kicked her over and over, she's unconscious and lying still but still they attacked her. When they are done, she is not breathing but still each one of them owned her. Each and every one of them entered her core and felt the warmth inside of her. They do it one at a time until they reached their climax.

"That's what we want you to confess!" The police officer shouted at me, he even bang table from frustration.

"That's the crime I committed, seeing my friend raped, molested and die. And the last time she saw is me cowering in the dark, shivering from fear. She died and the last thing she saw is me being afraid!" I stand up and wanted to throw the table as hard as I could but I'm being restrained by the hand caps.

"She died with her eyes on me, I saw how her eyes shift from fear into ice cold" I screamed again and again...