How To Tell Him My "Secrets"?!

Hi there! Newbie here. And I don't know if this is the proper place to seek for an advice but I'll do it anyway. Wala kasi ako pwedeng masabihan na malapit sakin dahil nakakahiya.

Well I'm not that young and I'm not that old, just in between. I'm a single mom. The father of my child cheated on me.

I had a few experience on having a man in my life but those "few" wholeheartedly accepted all my flaws.

So here is my problem mga sir at ma'am,

I met someone for quite sometime already during the quarantine period. We exchanged messages regularly. We "like" each other. We clicked. And it came to a point that we are so comfortable with each other that's why He wants me to show him my whole body and he wants to have sex with me. Gusto ko din naman sana as in gustong gusto talaga but I'm reluctant because of certain incidents I have scars on my body. It's surgically done. It's not "retoke" but literal na operada.

May magtatanong siguro bakit pinabayaan ko ang katawan ko, well kasi po there come a time that i got so depressed and i taken myself for granted. I don't expect na kasi na magkakaroon pa ako ulit ng someone special, though we don't have any label.

Naisip ko din naman ipaayos sana kaya lang on the other side of my mind said why would I need to that? Of the guy really likes or love me he should accept all of me. With or without flaws.

And tahat's where my insecurity comes in. I am nowhere near the women he's been in the past. You know those young and some are not so young but most of them are fresh, sexy, flawless almost perfect kind of girl. Their pink nipples and firm breast, pink pussy, round butt, white complexion and all that.

While I on the other hand is not sexy but just trying to be fit. I'm not the type who can flaunts her body on the beach wearing those two piece bikinis but I can wear sexy one piece bathing suit.

My nips are pinkish brown and I can say my breasts are not saggy they're still firm despite having a few sex experienced and I have a child. I just have a regular butt and body not the one who's cat calling kind. And the 2nd biggest insecurity of mine aside from those scars is my pussy. I don't find it beautiful because of its color. My complexion is fair not because of any products, but still it's not pantay.

But the doctor said it's natural for a woman to have a changes in their bodies after having sex and giving birth. FYI: before when I was a virgin I could say that I'm sexy, my nipples and pussy are pinkish too.

Bakit nga ba kasi gusto ng ibang guys or naging standard na "dapat" pinkish ang nipples and pussy ng mga girls nila. Ang unfair naman kasi kami naman mga babae hindi nag expect ng maputi ang balls niyo or handsome din ang mga dick niyo. Or kailangan dapat 9 inches ang size. For me kasi it's about the performance. Kaya madami din babae na hindi confident sa katawan kasi may mga naka set na , na standard.

So ayun na nga this monster inside me called insecurity is killing me. I'm so pressured right now. I keep on refusing and I told him not to expect anything because he might be disappointed.

What will I do? How can I say it to him? What if he gets turned off? What if ayawan niya ko after seeing my imperfect body because it's not the same or at least leveled with his past?!

Shit! Guys, naiiyak na ako maiisip pa lang na aayawan niya ko. Though i'll find it mababaw but I will definitely understand if that time comes.

And guys, is having a flawless sexy body and pretty face are the basis of a guy to continue liking a woman? How about look at us on our attitude , on our brain and our heart. I mean no offense to other female out there but what will you do sa ganda at kasexyhan if they don't have a knowledge or brain or what they called diskarte sa buhay.

So what's the best thing to do? All opinions and advices are acceptable but please don't be too harsh and offensive on me. I'm kinda emotional these days.

Sorry po sa mga makakabasa hindi ako "writerist" kaya hindi maayos ang pagkakasulat and I'm only using my cellphone.

Thank you.