Pero nandun nga din yung feeling na having a crush na katulad nun teenager pa tayo. Kase after having girlfriends, then getting married, tapus hiwalayan ay dumating din ako sa point na hindi na nafefeel yung nagkakaroon ng crush on other girls or women. Of course, syempre naman, when I see a pretty girl or woman na-aappreciate ko yung beauty nila. Pero hindi katulad nung high school or elementary na palaging nasa-isip natin yung mga crush natin, maski hindi nila tayo ini-isip nila.
But lately, spending time with my daughter and watching her grow and develop throughout the years, I became attracted to my daughter. Kaya yung fatherly love ko sa kanya ay nadagdagan na nga ng infatuation. It is an overwhelming feelings pero I don't regret it. I even nurtured it kase I feel that I'm more alive and more conscious of my existence. Parang yung nafe-feel ku talaga nung high school and even late grade school.
I love everything about my daughter's face. All her features are equally attractive but her lips are the most that I admire. I told her not to wear any lipstick because her lips' natural color is gorgeous. I'm glad that she followed my advice and she only wears lipstick on certain occasions. I could not really help myself and often I would stare at her lips when we talk. I am sure that she notices my stares but I guess she is not uncomfortable. She seems fine also whenever I kiss her on the lips.
I take my daughter to school, giving her a ride, dahil malapit sa work ko ang school niya. She stays with me then she stays sa mother niya, alternately. Her mother and I fell out of love and it was really for the best naman. I am no longer in love with her mom and not in love with any other woman. The only girl that I love is my daughter and I am content with my life having her with me. I want to savor our companionship dahil someday, she will get married and have her own family. She will be gone from my house someday so I tried to enjoy our time together.
Whenever I will drop off my daughter at school, we have this routinary kiss to say our goodbye. When she was younger, I would kiss her cheeks or forehead. But after a few years, I started to kiss her on the lips. Just our lips. It started when I rounded my lips and protrude them to ask for a kiss. She kissed me on the lips kaya since then, our kisses are always on the lips. It is my favorite part of the day when I drive her to school. She just had her shower so she was really smelling so good. I love her smell. Before she steps out of the car, she would face me, lean towards me at sasalubungin ku yung mouth niya at sabay halik sa kanya. Tapos pasok na siya sa school.
After school naman, favorite ko din kase she will kiss me upon seating on the passenger seat. Then we would talk about our days. Sometimes, we eat outside if there is something special to celebrate. But most of the time, we would go straight home at mag dinner kami na sabay. May luto ng food yung maid or yaya niya kaya we would spend the rest of the night relaxing. I would retire to my room to rest and do some works at ganun din ang daughter ko. Sa room niya sya magstay at magawa ng school work, assignment, exam reviewers, test prep. at iba pa. I'm really proud of her. She is the perfect girl, ever.
My kisses have become bolder. Minsan maski sa house, mag-ask ako ng kiss sa kanya. One time, after we have an early dinner, have our showers and rested na kami, I saw her seating on the stool by the kitchen counter. Naka head band yung dark, silky hair niya habang nagsusulat ng notes. Yung tenga niya ay sexing tignan at may hikaw siya na small diamonds. Naghihintay siya dun sa pinaluluto niyang midnight snack sa yaya niya. I had to get some water, kase feeling thirsty ako that night and nung pabalik na ako sa room, I leaned to her and kissed her as she faced me. I let my kiss linger for about 4 to 5 seconds. Even before our lips touched, nag-"hmmmm" softly na ako. Nung nag meet na yung lips namin, I continued my "hmmmm" then ended it with "mmwah." She did not let go until I said "mwah" and until I moved my mouth away from her.
So that has been my technique to kiss her longer than the casual and momentary kiss on the lips. The next morning, before she steps out of the car, I said "hmmmm" and shaking my head a little as I leaned to her. Parang bang small rocket na kunwari liliko-liko tapus maglalanding sa lips niya. I pressed my lips for about 4 seconds and then I let go of her lips as I say "mwah". The same thing I did when I picked her up, and also some time in the house. She was so innocently receiving my kisses because they seemed to be harmless. When I kiss her that way, our lips touch evenly. My upper lip touches her upper lip and my lower lip touches her lower lip. And it's been like that for a while. These routinary kisses somewhat hide the unrevealed lust and affection that has been building inside me.
The next time I tried to reveal a little of my burning desire. One morning, again before she steps out of the car, I just leaned on her and without the introductory "hmmm...." But instead of touching her lips evenly like before, I kissed more her lower lip. So my lips sandwiched her lower lip and locked it for 3 seconds before I released it with a soft-sounding "mwah." She looked at me and was a little puzzle but she smiled when I smiled and said, "bye, see you later."
Seldom I tried doing that type of kiss para hindi siya ma-ilang. Kaya yung typical na naka-sanayan niya na "hhmmmwah"! and ginagawa ko. But syempre, minsan I could not resist so again one morning, feeling greatly passionate sa anak ko, I held her right cheek with my left hand as I leaned from the driver's side. I kissed, trapped, and lightly sucked her lower lip for 4 to 5 seconds. After I let go of her, I said, "I love you, baby." She looked at me, a little surprised but not appearing annoyed or disgusted. She went to school and I went to work.
Throughout the day, I was a little concerned about her reaction but I felt relieved when she texted later that day and said, "I lv u 2, dad."
For several days, and the following weeks, I would kiss her in the typical, less sensual way and sometimes, in the more passionate, light lip-locked kiss of her lower lip. But not longer than usual para she will not feel uncomfortable. Pero, minsan, I tend to forget and act less mindful of what she may have felt.
The morning time, on the way to school, is the hardest not to be more attracted to my daughter. Kase yung nga yung bago siyang paligo, amoy na amoy fresh siya talaga at on my part, morning time kase kaya enhanced ang libido ko. Kaya one time, almost uncontrollably, I held her face again as I kissed and locked her lower lip, pero I extended my tongue (for about 3 seconds) and touched and licked her lower lip. This time, I felt she was startled a bit, but I immediately said, "I love you." Luckily this time, I did not have to worry for the rest of the day about her reaction because she replied kaagad na, "I love you, dad."
While I was no longer worrying that day, our kiss left me feeling aroused the whole day. I was very pre-occupied with thinking about her soft and sexy lips. I was so excited to pick her up after school. Kaso, so not to scare her, I just held her hand while we were in the car, and planted some light kisses on her hand. She was nonchalant about it dahil nag-kwekwentuhan na lang kami habang papa-uwi. Pagdating sa bahay, sa garage pa lang, I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Then, I let her go. That night, we prepared for dinner, she did her homework, and we rested.
Around close to midnight, I chanced upon her again while she sat in the kitchen waiting for her merienda. I approached her and chatted with her for a while. I had my glass of water and before I returned to my bed, I leaned and kissed her left cheek. She sensed that I wanted more, kaya she faced me and allowed me to kiss her lips. I again, extended my tongue to touch more her lower lip and I kissed her longer this time. I held her upper back with my left hand as I kissed her. Well, it lasted for about 5 to 6 seconds before I released her mouth. Pero dahil my hand rested on her back, I felt that she wobbled just a little bit. Maybe she felt weak when I kissed her. I'm not sure, though. I was glad that I was able to control myself and left her alone in the kitchen. But there's another thing that I felt when I placed my hand on her back. I could not feel any strap on her back so I realized that she was not wearing bra.
Come the following morning, I already took the car out of the garage and waited for her to come down. I anticipated that the whole car will again be engulfed with her fresh morning scent. Her fragrance is like the source of my energy to last the whole day. It's better than freshly brewed coffee. Her fragrant body makes me horny the whole time. Pagsakay niya, her hair is still moist from her shower, and I can also smell the fruity and delicious smell of her hair. I held her hand again on the way to her school and pressing it a little with my hand. Kissed the back of her hand once in a while. Before she steps out of the car, I leaned and held her face with my hand and kissed her lips and I again extended my tongue, touching her lower lip. But this time, I pressed my tongue on her lower lip with enough pressure that my tongue slid up a little and touched her receiving lip. Her mouth was still close but I felt no resistance from her. I said, "I love you, baby" and she replied, "I love you, dad."
I was thinking of my beautiful daughter for the rest of the day.
Every morning has been like that. The anticipation of smelling her newly showered body and hair, her soft hand as I held it while I drive, and the goodbye kisses that slowly transforming into sensual kisses. One time, as I held her face again, I kissed her with my tongue extending to touch and wet her lip. But before I let go of her soft, delicate lip, I lightly bit it with my teeth. So when I let go of her she, said "Yyy, daddy!" I made a light but nervously laugh and asked, "Masakit ba?
"No, daddy, nagulat lang ako"
"Oh, sorry na, kiss na lang ulit kita"
Na-surprise ako ng nag-pakiss ulit siya. Siguro para ma-erase-erase yung moment na pagkagat ko sa lips niya at palitan ng real kiss. So I leaned and kissed her again but this time, it was her upper lip that I locked. I kissed and held her upper lip for about 4 to 5 seconds as my tongue touched, pressed it a little, and lightly licked her upper lip once. She was holding her breath the whole time and when I released her, she exhaled somewhat slowly. We said our "I love you" and left her at school. I was savoring that sweet kiss the whole day and at work, I could not focus on my tasks and meetings. I wanted my work to end soon so I could be with my daughter. I miss her all the time while I was at work. She has a picture on my desk and I spent the rest of the afternoon, thinking about her. I sent her a couple of text messages telling her that I miss her. She texted back telling me that she misses me, too.
I picked her up that afternoon and took her to the mall and treated her to one of her favorite restaurants. We walked very close to each other habang naka-akay siya sa elbow ko. Habang naglalakad kami, I would smell her hair and kiss her head. Minsan kapag mapapatingin siya sa akin while we talk, I'd kiss her forehead. Kapag napa-tingala siya sa akin, mag lean ako sa kanya at kini-kiss ko yung noo niya.
Alam na niya na hahalikan ko siya kaya she will stop whatever she was saying at pipikit siya, allowing me to kiss her forehead. Nung nasa restaurant na kami, after the hostess showed us our table, at before she let go of my arm to seat on her chair, I leaned on her again to kiss her. Since she closed her eyes, I kissed her lovely nose instead of her forehead. She giggled and then sat on the opposite chair so we were seated face to face. I enjoyed the rest of our time in the restaurant, admiring her throughout the night. My daughter is really the most beautiful girl.
We had the usual father and daughter talk. I asked her about school and how she's doing with her subjects. I told her not to have a boyfriend yet. I emphasized that I am not against her having a boyfriend (but deep inside I am against it) and that she just has to earn her degree someday and maybe enroll in medicine or graduate school. The usual conversation but embedded with deep and secret admiration and desire of her. We held hands as we walked back to the car and we held hands the whole time as we traveled back home. The maid was already resting in her quarter coz I texted her earlier that my daughter and I will be having dinner at the mall. Before I walked to my hallway leading to my room, I held my daughter's one hand and pulled her gently towards me to give her a good night kiss. I leaned down to plant my kiss and she looked up to receive it. I again locked my lips on her upper lips, and with both our eyes closed, I made the same sound, "hmmmmm" the whole 5 seconds. In those few seconds, my lips locked, and lightly suck her upper lip as my wet tongue press on it. She held her breath and inhaled deeply after I released her lips.
"Good night baby!" I said. She replied, "good night dad, thanks for the dinner."
"You're welcome, honey."
Before I completely rested that night, before midnight, I texted her and reminded her about our earlier conversation during dinner.
D: Sleep na ako Liz, good night.
E: Gdnyt dad.
D: Don't stay up too late, ok.
E: Jst drying my hair, dad.
D: Remember we tlk abt at dinner, no bf yet.
E: Ay naku dad, oo cge wla muna tlga.
D: I don't want u fooling around with boys in ur skul.
E: Ew dad, di ako gnun.
D: Am kidding, baby. Jst don't kiss anyone.
There was a long pause and she did not text right away. And then she texted back after a couple of minutes:
E: cno lang kiss ko?
D: si mom mo at ako lang.
E: Ok, dad.
D: no other boys kissing you anak.
E: I don't knw how to anyway...
D: let it stay that way baby.
E: kw lng naka2kss sakn.
D: am ur dad, honey.
Yung next text niya ay natouched ako at sobrang saya.
E: ur my 1st kiss.
D: I'm glad.
E: me 2.
D: u like?
E: ur gentle dad.
D: I'll alwys be gentle to u baby.
E: I knw dad.
D: Love you, baby.
E: Lv u 2, daddy.
The next day, I felt good waking up. Learning that I'm her first kiss is so heart-warming. Of course, my daughter loves me as her daddy. But she doesn't know that I have fallen in love with her. On the way to her school, I could not resist bringing up what we talked about last night.
"I'm glad I'm your first kiss, anak." Sabay kiss ko din sa kamay niya.
"I feel safe with you"
"Of course baby, you can trust me. I would not that anything that you don't like"
"I know dad"
"Promise me that you will always be open with me and tell me any problem you have with me, ok?"
I held her hand and kissed it habang papunta kami sa school niya. Bago siya bumaba ng car, I released my seatbelt, I turned and faced her. She leaned towards me to receive my goodbye kiss, but this time, I held both her cheeks and kissed her lips once, twice, and another. I locked and sucked her upper lips slightly harder this time and for a few seconds more before I released her mouth. I sensed that she's was caught by surprise and I asked her if she's ok. She nodded and smiled at me. We said our "I love you" and I went straight to work. Unfortunately, my mind was again preoccupied at work. I was wondering what kind of feelings or sensations my daughter has experienced when we kissed earlier. Does she feel aroused? Does she feel excited? Does she feel a little confused? I don't know. Thinking of it, though, certainly made me feel horny.
After I pick her up, on our way back home, she asked if she could have a strawberry milkshake and some fries for take-out. I told her just to order one shake for herself and some extra fries for the two of us. Pagkatapos naming mag-order ay sakay ulit kami sa kotse. She started enjoying her shake and fries inside the car. I asked some of the fries kaya sinubuan niya ako ng fries while I was driving.
"Baby give me some fries"
"Here dad" sabay subo ng fries sa akin. She would dip the fries on the shake and eat it kaya I said, "dip mu din ng shake yung fries ko, baby."
She dipped some fries and she fed them to me. Minsan tutulo yung shake sa hand niya kaya pahabol kung lilick yung shake sa kamay niya. I was surprised that she let me lick the shake of her hand or fingers whenever na tutulo yung shake. Though I was enjoying licking her hand and finger, para hindi ako mahalata ay sabi ko, just give me the one that you just bit. So, dip niya yung fries, kagat nya yung half, then isubo niya sa akin yung kalahati.
Medyu traffic kaya we were on the road a little longer, but not that long naman Pero, before we arrived in our neighborhood when she bit her part of the fries, I faced her and leaned on her. She understood what I wanted her to do, so she held the fries in her mouth and fed them to me. I took the fries in my mouth but touched her lips with mine at the same time. We did it several times until we arrived home. It was so arousing na malasahan ko yung mixture of the saltiness and greasiness of the fries, the strawberry flavor of the shake, and her young and sweet lips.
At the garage, before the two of us step out of the car, with the seatbelt removed, I held her face with both hands and kissed my daughter's strawberry-shake-covered lips. I pressed my lips on her lips for 5 seconds before I gently sucked and slowly released her upper lips 2 to 3 times. When I released her mouth, she was breathing deeply.
With the strawberry shake, her lips taste so nice and delicious.
The following day, yun yung naging turning point ng matagal ko ng lustful desire sa kanya. What happened was unexpected. Kung tutuusin ay routine na lang namin mag-asaran at maghabulan sa bahay lalo na kapag nakasumpong kami pareho sa kakatawa. Napakainosente naman talaga niya dahil ang alam ko nga ay halos sa school at bahay lang siya. Pag-weekends, oo, paminsan minsan magmeet sila ng mga classmates at friends niya, pero hind siya nagpapagabi at sa bahay pa din siya nag-didinner. Hindi naman boring ang life ng anak ko pero, napansin ko noon pa na may pagka-home buddy talaga siya.
So isang araw, hindi ako sure kung ano yung mga pinag-usapan namin pero malamang yung typical na topics, like school, mga friends niya, mga pinsan, niya, yung mga step-siblings niya dun sa bahay ng mama at step-dad niya. Pero madalas ku siyang asarin tungkol sa mga crush niya. Sa totoo lang ayaw ko na masyadong tutok siya sa crush niya, kung meron man, at sa loob loob ko ay nagseselos ako talaga. Pero dinadaan ko sa biro para maka-sagap ako ng update mula mismo sa kanya tungkol sa mga boys sa life niya. Pero tanggap ko na rin naman dahil pinagdaanan ko rin naman iyon at syempre alam ko yung mga gawain at likes ng mga girls dahil madami din akong close friends na girls when I was younger at noong nasa school pa ako.
Kaya sa kulitan namin, inaasar, tinutukso, at pinipiga ko siya ng information about sa crush niya.
Next: The tickle