Tales from the Black Book (The Dare 1.2)
Tawag kay D ng isang photographer, the photographer was sexy, her boyish charm, plus her outfit, polo shirt and shorts, simple yet cute, i looked down and saw some smooth legs, then my eyes started up...
Then stopped myself. She is a butch, god damn, skeith, its only DAY 16 and you're loosing it. May gusto yan kay D. So atleast act a bit...i dont know...threatening?
Lumapit si D. sa photographer, then pumunta sa isang lugar, then posed, haughtily, then seductively, then sexily, and whatever exily words that you can think of that can heighten man's libido.
Nasa photo shoot kami, Cainta, I was near, so she called me, nagpapasama. She needs a P.A., im not doing anything anyway so i went, and then questioned my decision.
Yes the chastity thing was working good, i was able to concentrate more, finish things more and be a more cheerful guy, but damn, it was hard.
I saw models, their gorgeous bodies, their full smiles, the way their dress becomes them, the way they speak to someone, malapit sila, and touchy.
Fuck D., and her antics... im loosing it.
Then D herself, was wearing a sando, with sports bra, shorts, kita ang legs, makinis maputi, kilikili na smooth, and nakaka akit. And she flaunts it to me whenever no one is looking. Plus she grabs and squeeze my crotch every now and then saying "oopps...no bad boys.." then she would flash those innocent, teasing smile.
Napatingin ako sa kanya, malayo sya sakin, kasama ko ang ibang models and their bf and gf, nakikipag kwentuhan, then when i looked at her, parang nabatobalani ako, nawala ang atensyon ko sa mga kasama ko, parang....
Then my phone vibrated, it was Deck and Mark, texting me.
Saying something about shit and stuff, mostly about the 30 day challenge.
I ignored it, then looked at D. sa kalayuan.
Napaisip ako sa nasubuan kong sitwasyon.
Nakikipag flirt sa photographer.
Nag vibrate uli ang phone, persistent sila Mark and Deck, nireplyan ko para matigil.
Lumapit si D, pumagitna sa akin at sa kausap ko na model then took me by the arm grabbed my crotch,
smiled and kinagat tenga ko, sabay bulong.
I looked at my phone, gladly since nakaka distract ang ginawa nya.
So there we were, halfwaythrough, Deck was cursing me every chance he gets, and Mark was urging me to continue. D..was.. well.... teasing me but i know she is with me, were doing it like a couple would.
She left me, walked through some trees, nodded then signaled something to the photographer
"Okey D, sure ka na maganda dito ah, try nyo nga mag pose"
Tawag sa kanya ng photographer.
They took some shots, then they picked another location.
It was raining, D and I were in her place, i cooked some chicken soup, as she is hot, not sexy hot, but feverish hot. Dinala ko toh sa bed table nya, i also added some juice, and medicine.
Her phone vibrated, and i saw her mom text her, that they will be there tomorrow, and kinukumusta sya.
She replied, then sipped some soup. Nag frown sya, and sinabi..
"Im sure its nice, kaso wala ako panlasa...and pwede bang subuan moko, hipan mo na din ah."
So i did, i blew at the spoon, and let her sip, sinubuan ko.
Umambon after the pnoto shoot, and nabasa kame, and from then on the rain started. She was busy the whole days we are not together, finishing her project, she still texts me some reminders on the challenge, but when she called once and i heard her cough, in a jiffy i was at her door, she opened it and my heart, if ever i had one, skipped. She was wearing a long pajama, a cold compress in her head, a thermometer in her mouth, plus her face was flushed red. She looked horrible.
I immediately carried her to her bed, plopped her, and changed her clothes, and pinunasan ko ang mainit nyang katawan, nanginginig pa sya and ramdam ko ang lamig sa kamay nya, hinipan ko ang mga daliri, kinumutan, and nagluto ng soup.
Nag ring ang phone, and saw it was her mom calling.
She grimaced then answered.
I heard her mom, a bit hysterical.
"Anong kasamang boyfriend?!, iha your young wag ka muna mag ganyan, enjoy you life"
Whoah...napatigil ako sa nadinig...
"So ill break up with him, then ill be alone till tomorrow"
Sabi nya, hininaan ang boses.
"You are not that dumb, break mo sya bukas, bago kami dumating, pagaling ka jan love you"
Her mom said, then the phone died.
I was shocked, im not sure, was i shocked that i heard that im a bf, or that she'll break up with me, tomorrow, or...
Tinignan nya ako, then she smiled wryly.
Kinagat ang labi, then...
"Shit...so you heard..."
Umubo sya, then took my head, and placed it in her chest, it was beating fast, she was warm, perhaps because of her fever, or.... something else...hopefully.
We stayed there for some time, not moving, just hearing her breath, her pumping chest, smelling her.
Then i shook my head, sinubuan ko ulit sya.
She drank her meds after she's done, went to sleep.
Niligpit ko pinagkainan nya, then she called me over.
She patted the side of her bed, urging me to join, which i did.
Yumakap sya sakin, umuubo padin, but now when i looked at her face, her closed eyes, and her smile, she was breathing, atleast normally.
I hugged back and read. Humming.
I woke up with her phone vibrating, it was still raining.
We fell asleep with her arms hugging me, my one arm pulling her close to me.
I kissed her head, then she got her phone, and answered.
"Opo...wala po...im still sick..."
Sagot nya sa mom nya. Hindi ko na dinig ang boses sa kabilang linya, then..
Tumingin sya sakin..
Then she hung up.
I saw her eyes swelled, and humikbi sya, i kissed her eyes, and whispered sweet mumblings.
"Luto muna ako ng breakfast mo, soup ulit, crab naman."
Sabi ko sa kanya. Lumabas ako ng kwarto nya.
"Im allergic to crab! You knew that the first day we met!"
Banat nya sakin, pasigaw para madinig ko.
Yeah...i knew that, but when i saw her hanging up the phone,
I felt some pinch, in my chest.
And i blurted that dish, which i knew could make her worse.
Ofcourse i didn't cooked crab soup. I cooked chicken soup again, it was the only thing available.
Napanuod ko sa tv na aayos na ang weather. It means ill be gone.
I also toasted some bread for her, and hot cocoa.
When i entered, i saw her texting someone, then closed the phone.
"Uhm...ill take a cocoa please.."
Nakangiti nyang sabi sakin, lumapit ako, then offered the mug.
"They wont make it today, so... they're asking if someone could come over and you know, help me"
Bulong nya ulit, nahihiya ang boses nya.
"I'll get Deck, pretty sure walang ginagawa yun, its raining and he remembers shit, having him here will help him out as well. Plus his harmless, specially pag sinabihan ko"
Sabi ko sa kanya. Hinipan ko ulit ang soup at sinubo sa kanya.
Pagkalunok at humigop ng cocoa, ay nagsalita sya.
"Well, your here, may pupuntahan ka ba?"
Napatigil ako, hundreds of question raced through my mind.
Should I? Why?...etc.
"Ok lang kung hindi mo kaya, my temp went down na, and im feeling better"
Naka tingin pa din sya sakin.
"Dont be an idiot"
Sabi ko nalang.
Matapos syang kumain ay natulog ulit sya, ako naman ay nakahiga katabi nya, nagbabasa, nagsusulat sa note, madalas naka tingin ako lagi sa mukha nya, ang maamo nyang mukha, ang sweet, innocent smile nya.
Madalas ay humihigpit ang yakap nya sakin, at napapansin ko na nananginip sya, sana masaya, sana nandun ako... ayun na ang naiisip ko.
I should go away now...
Before shit happens..
But i cannot. My body froze each time she moves. My body freezes each time i tried to move away.
And i want to see her, and stay with her.
I dont care if shit happens.
Naka tulog ako na nakayakap sa kanya. Nanaginip ako ng mahimbing, kasama sya.
Nagising ako sa sigaw ng isang babae, mom nya, ni D.
Si D na nakapulupot pa din ang braso sakin, ay nagising sa tili.
Natingin sya sa mom nya na nakatayo sa room, at nakapamewang.
Tumingin si D. sakin, kita ko na gulat sya.
"Iha, who is that man!!"
Matinis ang boses ng mom nya.
Tumingin muli sya sakin, pumikit, nag mumble, ng mahina...*sorry*...or *play with it*..
I dont know...i was too numb to know.
"He is my ex,..."
Naka takip ang mata nya ng sabihin ito.
"Iha ano? I cant hear you..."
Humina din ang boses ng mom nya,
Ako naman ay hindi makapag isip, naka upo lang, katabi nya, i hugged her, and she mumbled again *sorry*
Then inalis nya ang kamay ko sa kanya.
"Break na tayo!"
Sigaw nya sakin. Napatingin ako sa mom nya, naka smile, then.. sa kanya.
Nakatakip padin and mukha...
Should I exit?...
Im not welcome here anymore...
I got up, offered a quick hello and goodbye and sorry and left her house.
Feeling...things...i dont know...
Umambon habang naglalakad ako.
She texted me, i was in the middle of my run.
I didn't reply, its her 80th txt since i left her house.
And for some reason, nabilang ko yun, and i listened to more music, love songs, broken hearted song.
I dont know why, but it makes me feel...i dont know.
I switched my phone to airplane mode, tatawag na naman un, hitched my earphone to max, then ran.
My phone vibrated, i heard it, siguro text na naman ni D. I didnt bother to read, i just stood and let cold water hit me.
The Script, was playing somewhere near the bathroom, naka pangalawang ulit na ng buong music nila, and here i am, just lathering myself with soap as the water washes it down, rhythmically, naka yuko ako, watching as bubbles from my body poured down. The urge to touch myself wasn't there, the urge to think was non existent, the urge to breath...well, nandun padin. But the urge to live was not.
There was some pinch in my chest, so i scheduled a checkup with my sis earlier, but sabi nya wala daw, im as healthy as a horse. Continue ko daw whatever im doing so i ran...and ran...and ran..
After running, I hit the shower.. washing myself...and got stuck here...
Deck texted me, bar tomorrow, the usual. Importante. Nagising ako sa text nya.
I looked up as i get out of bed, it was sunrise, so i got up and ran, didnt even bother to reply.
Alam na nila yun, pag isa samin nag text and didn't replied, it means you will be there.
Siguro a change in scenery can make me feel....something.
Puro trees and tombstone nalang nakikita ko, and runners, and joggers.
Siguro pag nakakita ako ng sexy dressed women, mag perk ako.
I saw a jogger, naka t-shirt, pink headband, and pink earphones, petite...
I perked up, then she turned she was gorgeous, but my perkiness turned to dissapointment...
Who was i thinking when i saw a glimpse of the girl?
No matter, there is still some daylight, better run.
So i ran, letting my thoughts get drowned with music, love music...
Hapon, sa bar, hindi makakasama si Mark, meron daw silang romantic trip ng asawa, sa Shaw.
Kasama ko si Deck, nakikinig sakin.
"Pre...i dont know, i mean, im happy..but not, parang may kulang.."
"And it started when you left her home, hindi man lang nag offer ng breakfast, tsk kawawa ka naman, atleast we are nearing the end of the 30 day challenge"
Cutting me, then Deck patted my back ...asshole.
"Oh... and eto"
Sabi ni deck.
May binigay sya sakin, envelope, naamoy ko ang pamilyar na amoy.
I opened it, it was her, D., her writing.
I read it, then put it down.
I felt...I dont know..., mixed emotions?
I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think.
Nakatingin lang ako sa papel, parang kakainin ako, so im wary.
Then someone pushed me, urging me to get up.
I saw it was Deck.
"Go...what your feeling is called emotion bro, apparently meron ka pa"
He motioned for the letter, and said
"The envelope was not sealed, so i read enough, so go, natatakot ka lang.
Go, i know the feeling, follow what that thing is urging you.
Tinuro nya ang puso ko.
I paid the tab, and left.
"Skeith! Your moving at the wrong direction! Thats the comfort room!"
Yes, i was confused...
I turned the other way, towards my supposed destination, the exit, then left the bar.
I patted my clothes, making sure i have everything i need.
The note is placed in my pocket, near my chest.
Where a thing called heart once stayed...