Umbrellas

This was a story I've written 11 years ago...
It's my second story but I consider it the most precious.

This was posted in other sites so some old timers may have already read this. I just want to share this here for those who haven't.

This does not have erotic contents. So if it's what your after, you can hit the back button now. :)

==========================

"Umbrellas"

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to the ones we love? Is saying "Goodbye" as hard as saying "I love you"?
Or is it harder?

Is it because we don't want to hurt that person?
Or we just don't want to hurt ourselves?

Or maybe we're just afraid that we might not be able to stand for it. We're afraid that after saying goodbye, we'll find ourselves running back to that person.

But what if we can no longer go back even if we wanted to?

====================================================

In a private room of a Japanese restaurant...

"Why are you doing this to me? Anong kasalanan ko sayo para saktan mo 'ko ng ganito?" Tears roll down Jamie's cheeks as she begs for an answer.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I can't tell you now pero I'm doing this all for you." Xander's head is just bowed low. Tears are also starting to fill his eyes.

"All for me? Pinagpalit mo ko sa iba and it was for me?" Cried Jamie as she wipes her tears.

"I'm sorry. Maiintindihan mo rin when the right time comes." He closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

"I know na malaki yung atraso ko sayo. I have been very busy. I know masyadong kulang yung time na binibigay ko sayo. Pero you know na I'm doing my best to make it up to you everytime we meet. Bakit mo nagawa sakin to?"

"I'm really sorry, Jamie. I'm really sorry... We are in a long distance relationship, maraming bagay na nangyayari in a week or two na hindi tayo nagkakasama. I'm sorry..."

"I have been loyal to you. Pero ikaw? You always say you love me."

"I really love you. I'm sorry..."

"Puro ka sorry, puro ka sorry. Wala ka na bang alam sabihin kundi sorry???"

"I'm sorry kung puro sorry lang yung nasasabi ko sayo sa ngayon. Maiintindihan mo rin ako one day..."

"Bakit hindi pa ngayon? I don't know kung paanong para sa kabutihan ko yung ginawa mo. Pinalitan mo ko habang tayo pa."

"I can't tell you now..."

"I'm willing to listen. Bakit hindi mo pa sabihin ngayon para matapos na? You're only hurting me more..."

"I'm sorry..."

====

About a month before...

"Sweetie is there something wrong? Parang matamlay ka?" Asked Jamie.

"Wala Hon, I'm just tired. Sige, I'll go my way na..." He kissed her on the cheeks and started to walk away.

She held him by the arm, "Sweetie, I know there's something wrong. Why don't you tell me? Maybe I can help..."

"Kaw talaga Hon. There's nothing wrong. Pagod lang talaga ko. Don't worry yourself." He held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Sure ka Sweetie?"

"Yes I'm sure." He gave her another kiss. This time on her forehead. Then he whispered "I love you so much. Always remember that..."

"I love you too, Sweetie."

And they parted ways...

====

A week after...

They set to meet in a restaurant.
Jamie cancelled all her appointments because she's really excited to see her love. She arrived earlier so she saw Xander as he entered.

And she was really surprised...

"Hi. Kanina ka pa?" Asked Xander.

"Di naman. Who's she?" She was staring at the lady beside Xander, whose hand was holding Xander's arm.

"Ahm Jamie, si Sarah. Sarah si Jamie."

"Hi." Greeted Sarah.

Jamie just nodded.
She stared at the lady standing beside Xander. She's pretty and it's easy to tell that she has foreign blood.

Her look returned at Xander. "You never said that you're going to take someone with you." Her heart now starting to beat faster.

Xander pulled a seat for Sarah and he took another and sat beside her.

This made Jamie's heart beat even faster. She knows something bad is going to happen. To her at least.

She gathered all her strength to open her mouth and asked...

"What's this?" She asked in the calmest voice she could pull out of her throat.

"Kumain ka na ba? Would you like to order something first?" Xander asked in return.

"I asked you, what's the meaning of this? Bakit ka may kasamang babae sa date natin at bakit ka sa kanya ka tumatabi?!" She asked in a now louder voice.

Xander took a deep breath and re. I'll go straigto the point..."

Jamie held her breath. Trying to prepare herself for something she already have a hint of...

"Sarah is 9 weeks pregnant..." Xander started.

Jamie felt a hard pinch to her heart upon hearing those words...

But nothing could ever prepare her for the next two words that came out of Xander's mouth...

"By me..."

Silence...

It was almost just a whisper but it came like thunder into Jamie's ears.

Her eyes started to moist. She bit her lower lip but a whimper still escaped from her throat.
She looked at him, he evaded her stare.
Then at Sarah, whose head was already bowed low since Xander started talking.

"So that's what's wrong..." Was all that she could say.

She picked up her bag and stood up.
She walked for the door but he held her by the arm...

"Jamie..."

"I'm ok. Please let me go..." She tried to release her arm from his grip but Xander did not let it go.

"I said let me go!" And she gave him a slap in the face. She stared at him but he couldn't meet her stare. So he just let go of her arm...

"So that's what you can't tell me last week..." She said to him before she walked towards the door and went out.

Tears flowing uncontrollably down her face. She was gasping for air...

Xander just stood there. His head bowed low. People in the restaurant are now staring at him. He grabbed Sarah's hand and led her out of that place when someone called from behind...

"Sir yung inorder nyo po hindi pa bayad!" Yelled the waiter.

He took out his wallet and pulled out two 500 peso bills and placed it on the table. Then they headed for the door...

======

Jamie was miserable for days after that incident. She can't believe this happened to her. After everything they've been through. Just when she thought that their relationship was strong. Just when she thought she had loved the perfect man. Just when she thought that he loved her too. That he was loyal to her.

She would find out that he had been cheating all along. That everything he had shown her were fake and everything he had told her were lies...

For more than a week she was like an empty shell. She goes to work, does her job, but talks to no one. Not even her friends and family could comfort her.

After work she goes straight to her apartment. Where she would just lay down her bed and stare at the ceiling. Just stare at it thinking of nothing.

Her mind is so tired of thinking about everything that had happened that whenever she tries to think of it again, her mind would just go blank. Until tears start rolling down her cheeks and she starts crying again until she falls asleep...

===

After days of crying and mourning for her broken heart, she just thought she needed to talk to Xander about what happened.

She needed an answer.
She wanted to know what made him do it.

She knew she had imperfections but she knew they weren't a problem.
Not to Xander.

She can't believe this happened all of a sudden. Just weeks ago everything seemed to be perfect for the two of them...

She gave Xander a ring and they agreed to meet in a Japanese restaurant.

It was exactly 9pm. Xander was already there when she arrived. It was a small room with a low table in the middle. A typical Japanese dining room.

When she saw him, she couldn't believe how he had changed. He looked as if he hasn't eaten for days. He also looked pale. There are dark areas under his eyes. It seems he has been awake since the last time they met.

There was a pinch in her heart upon seeing him like that.
But she also felt that he deserves to be like that after everything he had done to her.

But she missed him a lot. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him but she knew she shouldn't do it anymore...

There they talked. She asked for an answer. She begged for it. But all Xander could ever say was "Sorry"...

She entered that place hoping for an answer and she left it still clueless of what had really happened...

==

She is now outside on the streets, waiting for a cab.
She left him inside the restaurant when she knew she wouldn't get any decent answer from him.
All he could say was that he's sorry.

She was still thinking about it when rain suddenly poured without notice. And it's starting to pour harder.

But she did nothing to cover herself. Nor did she run for a shelter.
She just stood there, as if letting the rain drown all the pain in her heart and hide the tears in her eyes.

It's good to feel the little droplets of water falling on her head, shoulders and face. Her clothers are starting to get soaked. She's starting to get cold but it was nothing compared to the emptiness she's been having in her heart for days...

Then suddenly she felt the rain had stopped pouring on her.
She looked left and right but saw that it's still raining on the streets.
Then she looked up and saw an open umbrella over her head.
She quickly turned around and...

"Xander...?"

==========================

"Umbrellas" Part 2

She looked behind her and she bumped on the chest of the man holding the umbrella.
She lost her balance.

Instinctively, the left arm of the man quickly held her by the waist to catch her.
She felt little bolts of electricity as the hand of the man touched her back. Her blouse was a bit wet and cold so she could feel the warmth of his palm...

She looked up to see his face...

"Xand..." She stopped. It wasn't Xander. It was a just stranger who probably saw her just standing under the rain.

She looked into his eyes and she saw something in it. She saw worry in his eyes...
Worry and something else. She didn't know what it was but she knew there was something else...

"Are you okay, miss?" Asked the stranger.

She regained balance and stood straight. But the man's hand was still on her back. She could still feel it's warmth and it feels like burning.

"I'm fine. You can let go of me now."

"Oh I'm sorry." The man pulled his hand from her back.
"I'm Jake, by the way." And held out his hand to her. It was the left hand.

"Oh..." And he transferred the umbrella he was holding to his left hand. Which got them both open for the pouring rain.

"Oh..." As he quickly raised the umbrella again but it was too late because they already got wet.

"I'm sorry." And he held out his hand again. This time it was the right hand. "I'm Jake." He smiled.

The man reacted funny so a little smile broke out of Jamie's face without her knowing.

"Maganda ka pala kapag nakangiti."

That's when she noticed that she was smiling. She felt really good that second. It's been a while since she last smiled. It's as if she was released of half the burden she had been carrying.

She looked at the man's hand. She hesitated for a while, but then she felt she owed this man something. He doesn't seem to be an opportunist. She was sure that what she saw in his eyes was real. So she took his hand and...

"I'm Jamie... Thanks sa payong ha. At sa pagsalo." And she smiled again.

And it was the start of their beautiful friendship.

====

Jamie and Jake became friends and they go out every now and then.

Whenever she's with him, she felt like no pain could ever hurt her. As if she could stand strong against every storm.

But when she's back to being alone, everything would just come back.
All the pain would start hurting her again. She realized that she still loves Xander. And it still hurts when the restaurant incident flashes back in her mind.

=

"Damn you Xander. How could you do this to me..." She said to herself one lonely afternoon. She can't help thinking about it everytime she's on her bed and stares at the ceiling.

"I hate you for all the pain you have caused me. But I hate myself more for still loving you..." And tears started filling her eyes again...

Then her phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw it was Jake.

She sat on her bed, took a deep breath, and...

"Hello?" She answered. In the calmest voice she can.

"Hi there, Miss..." Answered Jake.

"Bakit ka tumawag?" She asked.

"I just miss that beautiful voice."

"Haha. Wala kong piso." Her lips curved.

"And I miss the beautiful owner of that voice more."

"Dalawang piso na utang ko sayo." Now she's smiling.

"Kuripot mo naman. Dalawang piso lang?"

"Haha. Di nga, bakit ka tumawag?"

"Busy ka ba?"

"Hmmm... Teka check ko sched ko."

"Asus me ganun pa? Dinner tayo. Treat ko."

"Hmmm... Sige, I'll just cancel my meeting with Barrack Obama. Pati yung date ko with Robert Pattinson." Now she's grinning.

"Wow tikas. Haha. Daanan kita dyan ha. Mga seven."

"Ok po."

"Sige, see you later."

"Bye." And their short conversation ended.

She laid down on her bed again. She saw the ceiling once more.
Then she tried to search her heart for the pain she was feeling just seconds ago, but couldn't feel a pinch.

She couldn't believe that Jake was able to take away all those pain in just a minute of telephone conversation.

"Pano mo ba nagagawa yun Jake?" She asked herself.

====

4 months quickly passed since they met.

They're having a candle light dinner in a fancy restaurant. Their first time since they met.

She knew something was coming. And she's ready for it. She already have an answer for it.
But she still doesn't want to expect.

"Hmm, why did you bring me here?" Asked Jamie.

"For a change." Jake answered.

"Sus, nakakapanibago ka. Buti nalang nagskirt ako kung hindi baka di ako pinapasok." Then sipped champagne.

"Ahm Jamie..." Taking something out from the pocket of his pants.

"Yes?" She took another sip. Her heart now pounding.

"I have something to offer you." Then he brought out a brochure and handed it to Jamie.

"Ano to?" She took the brochure and looked at it.

It's a brochure of a house and lot.

"Sa Alabang yan, two storey house with four bedrooms and 3 toilet and bath. Yung master's bedroom may walk-in closet and bath tub. 450 sqm ung lot area. Fully landscaped din at..."

"Wait..." She intercepts. "Dinala mo ko dito just to sell properties?" She's really disappointed.

"Ahm, tingnan mo muna baka magustuhan mo..."

"Jake, its beautiful. Pero I don't need a house like this. Masyado syang malaki." She's irritated.

"Wait listen to me first."

"Jake, let's just finish our meal tapos umuwi na tayo. Sorry, wala akong pambili nyang binibenta mo sakin."

"Who said na kailangan mo tong bilhin?" Then he reached for his pocket again.

She's puzzled.

"I love you, Jamie. Accept my love and we will live in that house for the rest of our lives together with our future children." Then he held out a small black box and opened it in front of her. It was a golden ring with a small diamond.

Jamie was speechless. She was surprised.

A minute ago she was all prepared for this, but now she doesn't know what to do or say.

She looked at the ring, then at Jake. There was so much emotion in her heart that her eyes were starting to flood with tears.

"I want to marry you, Jamie. Please, say yes. Sorry kung masyado akong mabilis. Hindi ako marunong manligaw kaya direcho na lang tayo sa kasal." His voice filled with emotions too.

"Oh Jake..." Finally, words came out of her mouth.

"I wanna hear you say Yes." Jake pleaded.

"Y-Yes..." She whispered. Tears now rolling down her cheeks.

Jake smiled, reached across the table and wiped the tears off her face with his thumb.

"Thank you so much, Jamie." His eyes starting to cloud as well.

"No... Thank you, Jake." Holding his hand that was on her face.
"Thank you for saving me."

"I love you, Jamie..."

"I love you too, Jake..."

====

Their relationship went well. Jake made Jamie forget all the painful memories that Xander had caused her.
Now there's only love and happiness in her heart. Love for Jake, and happiness that comes from her new relationship.

She is so happy now with her new relationship. Perhaps even happier than the previous one. Maybe because they're just near one another. They could see each other anytime they want.

She's so thankful for having Jake. She considers him as heaven sent. Being there when she needed him the most.

She realized that the night Jake covered her with his umbrella, it wasn't just against the rain but also against all the pain that was showering her.
That when he caught her body from falling to the ground, he also caught her heart and soul from falling into the deep pit of sorrow...

=====

More than 2months after the proposal,

It was past 10 P.M. when Jamie received a call from Jake.

"Yes Babes?" She answered.

"Babes I'm on my way to pick you up. I'll be there in about 15 minutes." Says Jake.

"Bakit Babes? San lakad natin?" She asked.

"Basta Babes. Maya ko nalang sabihin."

"Ok. I'll take a quick shower na."

"And Babes..."

"Yes?"

"Wear white. Kahit yung top lang." And he ended the call.

Jamie was puzzled. It was the first time Jake asked her to wear a certain color...

==

Jake arrived and they left immediately.

Inside the car,

"San ba tayo Babes?" Jamie asked.

"You'll know when we get there." Answered Jake.

"Sus! Surprise pa..."

"Medyo malayo yun Babes kaya matulog ka nalang muna."

"Ganun? Ok po."

She's really sleepy so it did not take long before she fell asleep.

==

After more than 3 hours, Jamie woke up. She looked at her watch and then at Jake.

"Babes malayo pa ba?" She asked.

"Malapit na Babes."

"Babes why do you look so serious?" She noticed.

"Basta Babes." And he took her left hand with his right and gently squeezed it.

The moment she felt that squeeze, something flashed in her mind. Fear started to crawl throughout her body. She felt cold.

This already happened before. That gentle squeeze on her hand.

"Babes, is there something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Babes, wait until we get there. Okay?" Jake calmly answered.

She's really worried now. She looked outside. Then she noticed a familiar sight.
She's familiar with the direction they're heading to. With the road, the trees, the houses and establishments. She knew it too well.

She had traveled it several times before.
And she wasn't alone in those travels. She was with someone. Someone who had once been very special to her.

She traveled with Xander on that same route she is now taking with Jake.

"Babes I know this place." She says to Jake.

"Yes Babes. Kina Xander tayo pupunta."

"Bakit Babes? How did you know his place? And what are we gonna do there?" She is now puzzled and nervous at the same time.

She always mention Xander to him and she had told him everything about her and Xander. But she never remember telling him where Xander lives.

"I told you Babes, you'll know when we get there. Trust me. Okay?"

She just nodded her head.

She looked outside. Reminiscing all the memories of everything that hasn't changed since her last visit to that place.

==

A few more minutes of driving and they arrived at Xander's place. They parked about two houses away.

Once again, memories flooded her mind and heart as she stepped out of the car.
She noticed that there were a lot of cars parked in that street. And all the lights of Xander's house were on. They walked towards the house and the gate that was supposed to be for vehicles was opened wide.

And there were chairs and people. All in white. And there were flowers. Arranged on a tripod made of bamboo.
They were funeral flowers.

Chills crawled all over her body. She clung onto Jake's arm as they walked to enter.

And she almost fainted when she was greeted by a black cloth hanging on one wall of Xander's house.

Written in it, in huge, bold letters was Xander's full name...

Her knees trembled and she held on tight onto Jake's arm for support.
Jake also held her by the waist.

"Be strong, Babes." He whispered to her.

As they walked inside, they were greeted by a woman whom Jamie knows too well. It was Xander's mom.

"Tita..." Jamie called in a voice as soft as a whisper.

Immediately, the woman walked to her and gave her a really tight hug.

"Xander's gone..." She said in a sobbing voice.
"My son had left us..." Her body now shaking...

Jamie hugged her in return. As tight and as warm as the embrace of Xander's mom.

"W-what happened Tita? How?" She asks...

Then their hug loosened and Xander's mom moved a step back. She wiped her tears and started to speak.

"He was diagnosed with Leukemia about 8 months ago.It was in late stage so there's nothing we could really do." Her voice still trembling.

"Oh God!" Jamie was shocked.

"I'm sorry Tita. I never knew." Tears started to well in her eyes.

"No Jamie... Xander wanted to ask forgiveness from you. For not telling you."

"Oh, Tita..."

"He kept it even from us for 2 months but we eventually found out about it." Then she sobbed. Jamie walked to her and hugged her again.

"We found out from his doctor that he only had 3 to 4 months to live." She's shaking again.

8 months ago... Jamie thought.
Has it been 7 months since the restaurant incident? No. It had just been about over 6 months.
So he already knew he's sick that time. And that's the reason why he looked so thin in the Japanese restaurant...

"Oh God!" She said to herself. "He's already suffering then..."

"He lived longer than what the doctor predicted." The woman spoke again. This broke Jamie's thoughts.

"And he always say it's because of you Jamie. You were keeping him alive." She looked at Jamie who's also crying now.

"Why me, Tita? How?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know Jamie, but that's what he always tells us..."

Now she got puzzled again. Xander already had a new girl who was pregnant with his child but he still kept thinking of her?

"You wanna see him? Pasok kayo." And she walked to lead them where Xander's casket lays.

Jake held her hand again. And they walked inside.

She can't believe her eyes. Xander changed a lot. He had grown thinner than the last time she saw him. And his head is now shaved.

Tears fell endlessly from her eyes down to her cheeks.

"Xands..." Was all she could ever utter. And she kept on sobbing.

Jake hugged her tight. Wishing he could absorb all her pain and sorrow.
But this time he is powerless. He can't take away Jamie's grief.

==

Then someone approached them.
Jamie knows who she is. It's Sarah. The one Xander was with before in the restaurant.

"Hi." Greeted Sarah. Who's also in white maternity dress. She counted in her head and predicted that she's already in her 8th month of pregnancy.

"Hi." She greeted as she broke away from Jake's embrace. Then she wiped her tears.

"Remember me?" She asked.

"Yes, you're Sarah right? Xander's fiancee." She said in a calm tone.

Then a man approached and handed Sarah a pink envelope. He looked American.

"Here it is Honey." Then the man stood beside Sarah.

Jamie got confused again. The man called Sarah, "Honey".

"Uhm, I'm not Xander's fiancee." She started.

"We're cousins. This one right here is my real fiance." And she held onto the man's arm.

Sarah explained everything to Jamie. How Xander asked her to pretend as his fiancee. She hesitated at first, but Xander pleaded so she gave in. Without knowing the reason why he wanted to do it to someone he said he loves so much.

She tried to ask why but Xander never answered.

She said sorry to Jamie and then handed her the pink envelope.

"Xander asked me to give it to you when you come here. He wrote it 4 days ago." And then she walked away with her fiance.

She immediately opened the envelope and in it she found a letter. She started reading it...

==

Hi Hon, I would assume that you already know the truth as you read this letter. Alam ko na galit ka sakin for hiding this from you. So I would like to ask for your forgiveness first. I'm really sorry Honey. Alam ko naman na mapapatawad mo ko kasi pusong mamon ka. Hehe

Sana mapatawad mo rin si Sarah for her participation. Pinilit ko lang sya. She's such a nice girl. I'm sure magkakasundo kayo.

I know na nagtatanong ka ngayon kung bakit ko kailangang gawin to. I'm really sorry Honey. I just don't want you to see me at my weakest. I don't want you to witness my sufferings. And I'd hate it the most if I see you suffering with me.

I want you to live your normal life. I know you're strong pero I don't want to leave this world with you still in grief. Gusto ko pag-alis ko, naka move-on ka na. Gusto ko pag wala na ko, you already have your own life without me. And you already have a new love.

I love you so much Honey that there was not a single minute of my concious mind na hindi kita inisip. I was always worried for you. On how you have taken our break-up. I have been watching on you all those times. For countless times I was tempted to come near you and hug you. Until one day you called and said you wanted to meet.

I'm sorry if you got no answer from me that night. I have thought of it a hundred times and have decided not to let you know. I'm really sorry.

I'm so happy for you now and your new relationship. Jake is really a good man. I'm sure that he can take good care of you.

You may be wondering why or how I knew Jake...

I'll tell you a little secret. I have met Jake even before you met him. About a minute earlier than you. You can ask him the details.

I believe it was God who sent him to the right place at the right moment. I have been praying for it since the day I found out about my disease.

I'm thankful to God na pinagbigyan nya ko sa hiling kong yon. Kasi I told Him na I'll never leave unless I'm sure na you're in good hands.

Thanks to my love and care for you that I broke my doctor's word. I lived longer than what everyone expected.

As I write this letter, I know na it's about time for me to go. I can feel it. He's calling for me. I'm still happy that I would be leaving this world with a smile on my face. Knowing that God gave me my final wish. I'm lucky for being still here to watch it fulfill.

I love you so much Jamie. I never ceased loving you. And I'll always be watching over you from where I would go...

-Xander

==

Jamie was sobbing as she read the letter.
And she's crying really hard as she finished reading it.
She kept on calling Xander's name.

Jake just hugged her.

And she fainted in his arms...

=====

On the day of the burial, everyone was still wearing white.

Xander had just been buried when rain suddenly fell.
So the people immediately left for cover.

Jake immediately opened the umbrella he had taken with him.
It was the same umbrella he used to cover her that night.

"Alam mo ba kung kaninong payong to?" He asks Jamie.

She just looked at him.

"Kay Xander to." He said.

"Ha?" She asked

"That night na umuulan, he approached me and asked me to hand this to you. Sabi nya hindi mo raw to tatanggapin pag sya yung nagbigay."

"Oh..." Jamie was shocked. She now understands what Xander was saying in his letter.

"About a month after that, he came to me and told me everything. And we became good friends. He entrusted you to me and I thank him for his trust."

The rain turned to drizzles. And Jake handed her the umbrella.

"Park ko lang yung car sa malapit dito." And he left.

She looked at Xander's headstone. Tears started to fill her eyes once more.

"My God, Xander..."

"Thank you so much for everything." She sobs.

"Thank you so much... For your sacrifices. And for giving me Jake." Tears fell from her eyes once more. But not because of grief.
It's because of gratitude.

Then she closed the umbrella and placed it beside Xander's headstone.

"Im giving it back to you now. Thank you so much for the umbrella. Not just that one but also for Jake. He was also my umbrella. And you gave him to me..."

End.