The Untitled Confessions - Chapter 10 : Heartaches And Highways

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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SPARK Industries

Nagulat si Alina sa pangalan ng kumpanya na iyon. Doon kasi nagta-trabaho si Tom, at ka-close niya at amo pa niya ang isa sa sinabihan ni Wency.

"Any problems, Allie?"

Tinitingan siya ngayon ni Samantha, nago-offer ng isang tasa ng kape. Dahan-dahang tiningnan ni Alina ang kasama, parang pusang gala na nabasa ng ulan.

"Ate Sam, just to reiterate, ito iyung mga clients na ikaw saka si sir Jaime na lang ang maghahandle?"

Umupo si Samantha sa sofa ng kanilang opisina, sipping her cup. Isang tango lang ang isinagot niya, habang nakatingin pa rin kay Alina.

"May problema ba, Allie? Tell me, para ma-solusyunan na natin."

"My boyfriend works there, Ate Sam. And Mr. de Juan's Tom's boss"Alina nervously said. Samantha just stayed silent, looking at the window. She gathered herself, tapos pumunta sa kanyang computer.

"It was just a kiss, Ate Sam. One crazy moment where I just lost myself" sabi ni Alina, now crying. Samantha just stayed silent. An eerie silence, na parang nasa sementeryo lang ito. After a few moments, she stood up and faced Alina.

"Alina, I don't know how to put this, a suggestion lang siguro. If I were in your shoes, I'd either come clean sa harapan niya or keep it a secret and just break up with him."

"But I still love him, Ate Sam. I love Tom."

"Is it love, or is it just guilt?"sabi ni Samantha, habang umuupo naman sa sofa."Love is about trust kasi, and trust is the only currency you can spend sa isang relationship."

Samantha paused, having a sip of her coffee.

"And you chose to lose it."

Alina was now crying uncontrollably. Tama nga naman si Samantha. Naalala pa niya, dati, si Tom pa ang nagsasabi na sa isang relasyon, mapa-professional man iyan o personal, nakafocus ka dapat sa transparency ng magiging karelasyon mo.

"Again, it's just my suggestion, Allie. I know Pedrito. Isa siya sa mga madadaldal din when it comes to his affairs with the girls. Parang mga gago lang na kailangang palobohin ang kanilang bayag. Ego-starved bitches"

Tumayo si Samantha then took her leave. Si Alina naman, litong-lito habang tuloy-tuloy ang pag-iyak."I'd either come clean sa harapan niya or keep it a secret and just break up with him." A few words na patuloy na nage-echo sa kanyang utak. Kilala niya si Tom. If she admitted to her mistake, malamang sa malamang magagalit ito sa kanya. Keep it a secret, there's a 90% chance na lalabas at lalabas din naman iyon. Parang lahat ng option niya is to break up with him.

She picked herself up, wiped her tears, tapos nagsabi;

"Tatawagan ko na lang si Tom."

***

"I see, so you're breaking up with me then?"

Cool and collected na sabi ni Tom kay Alina sa pag-uusap nilang iyon. Mage-explain pa sana si Alina, pero wala siyang maisip na palusot para ma-justify ang decision niyang iyon. Nagpipigil lang ng luha ang dalaga, hoping na sana hindi pumayag ang kausap.

"I don't want to believe that you are an idiot to accept kung ano mang sinasabi ng mga marites na iyan, but to be honest with you I'm veering towards that" madiin na sabi ng lalake. First time ni Alina marinig ang salitang idiot mula sa bunganga ni Tom, and it hurts her like a thousand needles. Alina just justified it by saying that it's his emotions talking that night.

"I'd like to say I understand you and your decision, but I really am very sorry, Alina, but I just can't. Let's just say that I respect your decision na lang" sabi na naman ni Tom, tapos bumuntung-hininga.

"Give me a couple of days to get my things sa condo, pagkauwi ko from Japan."

"Tom, I am sorry" sabi naman ng ngayon ay umiiyak nang si Alina.

"Sorry because of what? You're breaking up with me? Na you didn't even bother to verify the facts? Or sorry kasi wala ka nang masabi kung hindi sorry lang?" pagalit namang sabi ni Tom.

Natahimik si Alina. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang isasagot sa mga tanong ng kasintahan. The silence lasted for a few minutes lang, pero para kay Alina it felt like an eternity. Tom cleared his throat, calmed himself down, then let out a sigh.

"Just a piece of unsolicited advice, Alina. Words matter. You don't say a word if it has no meaning."

Sasagutin niya sana ito ng sorry for being a sex starved slut, for finding someone to fulfill her sexual needs kaso nahihiya ito. Saka ayaw niya rin sabihin. Mahal pa rin niya si Tom, that's all she knows.

"Anyway, I'm off to a quick con-call. Thank you for informing me of your decision" he just said and abruptly hung up the phone.

Alam ni Alina na nasaktan din si Tom sa naging decision niyang iyon. Damang-dama din kasi niya na mahal na mahal siya ng lalake. At alam niya rin na hindi lang ang puso nito ang nasaktan, pati ang kanyang ego.

"Putangina ka kasi, Alina. Shit ka" ang tanging nasabi na lang niya sa sarili, habang ipinipikit ang kanina pang magang mga mata para matulog.

***

Trabaho. Tulog. Trabaho.

Rinse, then repeat.

Iyon ang naging routine ni Alina the past few days. She's making herself busy with work, para kalimutan ang pakikipaghiwalay niya kay Tom. Pati ang mga kasama ni Alina, napansin na rin ang katahimikan niya the past few days, and they are doing their best to make her feel better without asking anything. The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever, sabi nga ni Carroll Bryant. Some things are not meant to be asked.

"Allie?" tanong ni Samantha sa kasama sa opisina isang araw.

"Yes, ate Sam?"

"Your annual leave is coming soon, tama?" said Samantha, nonchalantly. Tumango lang si Alina, her face not leaving her monitor.

"Any plans?" patuloy na pagtatanong ni Samantha.

"Wala pa naman ate, to be honest. Might go on a trip siguro, either overseas or local."

"I see. If you want, sama ka sa akin. I'll be on a business trip for a week, sa La Union. You can join me sa resthouse ko doon, para ma-relax ka ng kaunti, if you want."

Napaisip si Alina sa sinabi ni Samantha. Her life's been stressful the past few days, and she needs time to unwind. Ayaw niya rin umuwi sa bahay nila, lalo na't malamang she'll hear lots of stuff from her dad. Add the fact that in less than a week, uuwi na rin si Tom sa Pilipinas. She can't bear the sight of him leaving.

"I'll think about it, ate" sabi niya, pilit ang ngiti. Ngumiti lang sa kanya si Samantha, tapos nagtuloy sa pagtatrabaho.

Alina decided to go downstairs to have a smoke. Busy din kasi ang lahat ng mga tao, palibhasa ay malapit nang matapos ang quarter. Yayayain niya sana si Samantha, pero she was busy handling calls. Bumababa na lang ito mag-isa para magsigarilyo.

"Can I have a light, Ina?"

Si Jaime, back into his polo-barong wearing self. Alina handed her lighter to him, at nagpasalamat naman ang lalake.

"So, you're leave's coming soon, tama?" tanong ni Jaime. Alina just nodded, looking at a distance.

"Next week?"

"Nope, this Friday po, sir"

"I see. That's good then. You need to rest for a bit" sabi naman ng boss niya sa kanya.

Bumuntung-hininga si Alina, sabay naglakas-loob na magtanong.

"Sir, about the clients you'll be looking at po pala"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Ina. Is it about SPARK industries?"Alina just nodded.

"I heard about your boyfriend working there. Unfortunately, me and Mr. de Juan's not seeing eye to eye at the moment, so I asked Sam to take care of him."

Nanahimik naman si Alina, nahihiya pa rin sa nagawa niya halos isang buwan lang ang nakakakaraan. Napansin ito ni Jaime, kaya hinawakan niya ang kanang balikat nito at nagsabi na huwag siyang mag-alala.

"Samantha can handle him, Ina. Don't worry about a thing. Everything's going to be alright."

Alina just nodded, then thanked Jaime softly.

"So, any plans?"asked Jaime, while smoking his cigarette.

"Wala pa at the moment sir. Ate Sam invited me to her resthouse sa La Union, and I'm thinking about joining her na lang."

"Well, if you don't have any plans, then I guess that will be a good idea. Just make sure you bring a lot of anti-mosquito lotions" Jaime smilingly said. First time ni Alina na marinig magbiro ang boss niyang iyon, na parang he's lightening up her mood. And for some reason, she appreciated that gesture.

"Anyway, una na ako, Ina. Enjoy your vacation. See you in a month" pagpaalam ni Jaime kay Alina. She just smiled and bowed her head, tapos lit up another cigarette.

***

"Ate Sam, about your offer, can I still take it up?"

Message ni Alina kay Samantha iyon. Twelve midnight na ng Sabado, first day ng kanyang annual leave. Wala siyang nagawang plano for her month-long leave, at iniisip niya e malamang, she'll just end up locking herself in her room for a month. After about 5 minutes, biglang nag-reply si Samantha.

"Sure, Allie. I'll pick you up later at around 1 in the afternoon."

Neglecting her sleep, Alina started packing for her trip with Samantha. Nag-pack siya ng mga gagamitin niyang damit ng 2 linggo, para may allowance na din siya. Natapos siya sa pagkaka-pack ng kanyang dadalahin mga 8 na ng umaga, went to have a nap, tapos mineet niya si Samantha sa may parking lot ng kanyang condo.

"O, Alina, kukuba-kuba ka na naman ngayon. Stick-up your chest and hold your head high" sabi ni Samantha habang nagyoyosi sa harap ng kanyang sasakyan. Alina just smiled, tapos bineso niya si Samantha.

Tahimik lang na umupo si Alina sa harap ng sasakyan ng sumundo sa kanya. Mahabang biyahe ang gagawin nilang dalawa ngayon, kaya nagpaalam na lang si Alina na iidlip muna saglit para siya naman ang pumalit pagdating nila sa TPLEX.

"Hayop naman ang tugtog ng radio na ito, nakakasakit ng damdamin ah" said Alina while she was forcing herself to sleep. Pagsamo ni Arthur Nery, Hindi Tayo Puwede ng The Juans, Someday ni Nina, and a host of other songs na ginawa sa mga taong broken hearted. Alina's eyes started to water, at nasa kalagitnaan palang sila ng NLEX ng mga oras na iyon. And this song came along na nakapagpahikbi ng todo kay Alina - Sana Maulit Muli, by Gary Valenciano.

"Kung kaya kong iwanan ka,
Di na sana aasa pa.
Kung kaya kong umiwas na,
Di na sana lalapit pa.
Mahal pa rin kita
O giliw. O giliw"

Hindi maiwasan ni Alina na sabayan ang last stanza ng kantang iyon. Sapul na sapol kasi sa kanya, parang kung ano ang kinakanta ni Gary Valenciano e iyon ang graphic representation ng kanyang nararamdaman ngayon. Inabutan ng isang box ng kleenex ni Samantha si Alina, sabay pinatay ang radio.

"Sorry, Sabado sounds kasi ngayon sa FM. Are you okay, though?" worried na pagtatanong ni Samantha kay Alina.

"I'm okay, Ate Sam. Nakakaasar kasi iyang pinapatugtog sa radio.It reminded me of Tom" sabi naman ng nakangiting si Alina, habang pinupunasan ang luha. Malungkot na nginitian na lang ni Samantha ang kasama, tapos biglang itinigil ang sasakyan sa interchange.

"Let's have our merienda muna, Allie" sabi ni Samantha pagkatapos niya i-park ang kanyang sasakyan. Bumababa ang dalawa mula sa sasakyan, pumunta ng food court, at bumili ng pagkain.

"Makuwento din pala si Ate Sam" Alina thought to herself. Kung ano ano ang pinagkuwentuhan lang nila, from the traffic to current events to your local showbiz chika. And amazingly, walang kuwento tungkol sa kanilang trabaho o kung ano mang latest sa nararamdaman ni Alina. Samantha has a way with words. Add the fact that she, at least for Alina, is charisma personified, makes her a wonderful host. No wonder kahit sino, magagayumang makipagusap dito.

"Let's buy a few things muna Allie, bago tayo pumunta ng highway ulit" said Samantha, tapos dumiretso ito sa isang grocery. Tinulungan na lang ni Alina si Samantha sa kanyang pamimili, her mind still heavy about her recent breakup.

***

"Maganda pala ang resthouse ni ate Sam" sabi ni Alina sa sarili. Nasa gitna ito ng isang farm at malayo sa kabihasnan. Sariwa ang hangin, walang ingay ng sasakyan, parang retreat house lang ang dating. Three things that made Alina think na it wasn't a bad idea na sumama na lang ito kay Samantha.

Sinalubong sila ni Manang Zeny, ang kanyang katiwala, at pagkatapos niyang ibigay ang mga pasalubong dito ay nagpaalam na ito para umuwi sa kanila.

Nagluto lang si Samantha ng sinigang na baboy noong gabing iyon, tapos inihanda ang binili nilang barbecue at inasal na manok. Kuwentuhan lang muna sila habang kumakain, mga funny stories and all of that stuff. Naaliw at napatawa naman ni Samantha si Alina. Parang nabunutan ng tinik ang dalaga sa ginawang pag-host sa kanya ng kanyang ate.

"Buti na lang pala sumama ako kay Ate Sam" sabi sa isip ni Alina. It's the first time in weeks na na-relax siya ng ganito.

Three beers into their conversation, biglang naging seryoso si Samantha.

"Would you mind if I tell you something, Allie?"

Alina just smiled and nodded.

"Remember last Friday lang, when I went to SPARK?"

"Yes, ate?" natatakot na tanong naman ni Alina.

"I met Andrea, iyung isa sa mga bosses ng company. Well, not actually met as in we were introduced. Nakasama ko lang siya sa yosihan, kasama mga workmates niya" sagot naman ni Samantha, habang kumukurot ng inasal na manok na pulutan nila. Si Alina naman, parang nawalan bigla ng tama sa iniinom niya. She was listening intently to what Samantha's going to say next.

"You said your ex's name was Tom, tama?" tanong ni Samantha kay Alina. Tumango lang ang dalaga, habang dahan-dahang hawak ang boteng kaniyang tangan ngayon. Samantha just let out a sigh, sabay sabi ng"I see".

"You see what, Ate Sam?"

"I don't know if you'd like to hear this, Allie" sagot ni Samantha, her eyes slowly peeling off from Alina's gaze.

"Spill it, ate Sam, please" pagmamakaawa ni Alina. She needs to find out the truth, kahit wala na sila ni Tom. At least, she won't look like an idiot na basta basta na lang naniwala sa mga chismis.

"Well, okay. Kailangan yata natin ng something harder than this. Let me grab a bottle of whisky" sabi ng kausap niya, at dahan-dahang pumunta sa bar ng kaniyang bahay. Bumalik siya kasama ang isang bote ng single malt na whisky at dalawang snifters. Naglagay ng dalawang shots ng alak si Samantha sa baso, nakipag-toast, sabay nagsindi ng sigarilyo.

"From what I've heard, pinagseselosan mo raw si Andrea? At dahil daw iyon sa mga sinasabi ng mga chismosa sa street ninyo?"

"Unfortunately, yes ate"

"Well, I don't know whether this is good news or a bad one, pero your jealousy's unwarranted, Allie" sabi ni Samantha habang hithit ang hawak na yosi.

"How ate? I even saw a couple of photos of them kissing and hugging" tanong naman ni Alina. Dahil oo nga naman, kahit sinong babae makakita noon, mag-iisip na ng masama. How can it be na what she felt can be classified as unwarranted?

Samantha then went to explain kung bakit nasabi niya na unwarranted iyong pagseselos niyang iyon, from the fact na lumaki si Andrea sa ibang bansa (explaining the "touchy' part of Andrea), how Andrea only sees Tom as a younger sibling, and the mere fact na marami na ring nagpilit i-seduce si Tom sa loob ng opisina nila pero walang nagtatagumpay.

"One thing na sinabi lang nila sa usapan nilang iyon is you should've verified the facts first before attacking him with your accusations" pagtatapos naman ni Samantha. Alina was crying heaps now, di niya alam kung dahil ba sa galit, pagsisisi, pagkainis, or kung ano pa mang puwedeng magpaiyak sa kanya.

Tahimik namang nilagyan ng alak ni Samantha ang cup ni Alina. Hindi niya din masisi ang dalaga, kasi maging siya naging biktima na rin ng pangangaliwa ng asawa. Ang kaibahan lang nilang dalawa, si Samantha, nakahuli ng ayaw umamin. Si Alina, nagpa-amin ng hindi naman nahuli.

"Are you okay, Allie? Dumarami na ang naiinom mo oh" sabi ni Samantha sa kasama. Napapabilis kasi ang pag-inom ng dalaga, at parang lasing na ito.

"I'm okay, Ate Sam. Just wanted to forget what just happened."

"Okay, mas maganda siguro ihatid na kita sa kuwarto muna. Malamok na rin naman, so it will be best for us to go to bed instead" sabi ni Samantha, sabay sinamahan si Alina sa kuwarto nilang dalawa.

Magkatabing nahiga si Alina at Samantha sa bed ng host. Nakatihayang nahiga si Samantha, habang si Alina naman was on her side. After a few minutes, narinig ni Samantha ang dahan-dahang paghikbi ni Alina.

"Are you alright, Allie?" asked Samantha, tapping her shoulder. Alina turned around and gave Samantha a hug, now crying openly.

"Shush, Alina. I know it hurts but we need to take this as something that will make you stronger" sabi ni Samantha, hugging Alina's head into her bosom.

"I'm an idiot, ate Sam. Naniwala ako sa mga pinagsasabi ng mga chismosa sa amin" sagot naman ni Alina, repentantly.

"No, you're not Allie. You're just blinded by your emotions. Which is what happens to most of us naman, di ba?"

Alina just kept on crying, hugging Samantha closer and tighter. Hindi nga alam kung dahil sa ininom nila or the fact that it's been months since she had last sex, pero she was getting turned on by Alina's touch. Her perfume's wafting on her nostrils pa, which adds to her libido rising. She was trying her best not to lose control, but the body's weak while the mind's willing.

"How do I get over him, ate?" sabi ni Alina, habang inaangat ang mukha nito para harapin ang kausap.

Samantha just looked at Alina's face. It was barely lit by the moonlight na pumapasok sa kuwarto nila, but how she radiates. Her pretty face, thin lips, and her soft, dreamy eyes are attracting her more than she can imagine. She took her chin with her right hand, tapos ay inilapit niya ang kanyang mga labi sa bibig ni Alina.

Nabigla naman si Alina sa biglang paghalik sa kanya ng kanyang Ate Samantha, pero panandalian lang ito. Hindi niya alam kung dahil ba sa kalasingan niya ng araw na iyon, pagiging heartbroken niya, or the mere fact na crush niya rin si Samantha, ginantihan niya ang halik ng kasama.

It was a long, slow, and languid kiss. Their tongues were playing on their mouths, parang dalawang spiders na nagsasabong lang. Samantha's hands started roaming on Alina's body, caressing every curve that decorates it. Alina started letting out a soft moan while her mouth was still busy trying to overcome Samantha's kisses.

"Shit, bahala na" sabi ni Samantha, as she stood up to her bed para ihiga ng maayos ang katipan.