My Safety Switch

That was eight years ago when I created my first dummy account in one socmed platform. My initial intention was to disconnect myself from toxic people around me. Accidentally, nakita ko yung community ng mga walkers (your sex service providers) on that platform. I got interested sa iba't ibang kwento ng mga walkers – why they need to do that, how do they feel, and kelan nila plano magstop. Sa dinami-rami ng reasons, one story caught my attention. This lady didn't need money, hindi tulad ng karamihan sa mga kwento ng mga walkers na ika nga ay "kapit sa patalim" para pangtustos sa araw araw na buhay. This lady was doing it just for the experience or out of curiosity – gusto makatikim ng iba't ibang burat – bata, matanda, mahirap man o mayaman. Hindi ko inaasahan na matuturn on ako sa ganitong bagay. I was imagining na I am that woman, I wanted to be like her. Gusto ko rin magpaputa sa iba't ibang guys out there.

I was only 22 that time at hindi pa solid yung experience ko on sex. I have my third boyfriend noon and we were only doing vanilla. Then I met this one guy online and I was able to share my fantasies with him. At first, I noticed that he was befriending me because he likes me, my nudes, my moans, my voice, my character I guess, and especially yung kati ko katawan. Yes, we did what you imagined na ginawa namin – but everything virtual. When we started to share our personal lives with each other, I feel na lumalim din yung connection between us. Lust turned to a friendly love. Actually, if hindi dahil sa kanya, baka hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na buksan ang pinto papunta dun sa fantasies ko. And I am thankful coz he saved my pussy sa pagkalaspag ng iba't ibang Adan that time. He was like my Kuya for eight fucking years. Yes, we're virtual friends for eight years but we never met kahit isang beses. It's funny right? I don't even know his real name. Basta alam ko, he's 5years older (I am not even sure).

I think that was only 3 years ago when I started to call him Kuya Chard and we never shared any lustful moment starting then. He just stayed as my Kuya – minsan BI pero madalas naman he guides me para di ko matap ulit yung fantasy ko na possibly ay hindi ko kakayanin yung consequences. He was like my safety switch.

Fast forward to 2023 and I mentioned na bumabalik ulit yung desire ko to be fucked by iba't ibang guys. Hindi ko mapigilan. I've been chatting with different guys that time and each of them are very willing to meet me. Sinabi ko sa kanya na we have plans already nung isang guy to meet sa darating na weekend. And he was mad, very mad. Two days nya akong hindi kinausap.

Then dumating yung Friday night, I am already preparing to sleep nung tumawag si Kuya Chard.

C: Sam, tuloy ba kayo bukas?
S: I think so. Are you still mad Kuya?
C: I think you should cancel that. Let's meet tomorrow?
S: For real? After 8 years, you finally wanted to meet me?
C: Oo. Hindi ko lang sure sino mas gusto mong i-meet.
S: Hahaha! San tayo bukas?
C: Treat kita ng lunch. Gusto mo sunduin kita?
S: Bakit? Alam mo ba address ko?
C: Oo. Nakasave pa rin sa akin just in case.
S: Haha sige I'll chat you san safe ako sunduin. See you tomorrow. Should I wear my panties?
C: Sam, don't start.
S: Hahaha bakit ka nagagalit? Joke lang Kuya Chard. Kahit alam kong naglalaway ka pa rin sa puke ko.
C: Hey, sino may sabi?
S: Ako. Tell me na hindi mo namiss makita puke ko.
C: Alam mo naman na tumitigas agad titi ko maimagine ko pa lang yung makatas mong puke Sam.
S: Yes Kuya Chard. That was before. Do you still feel that way ngayon?
C: You have no idea.
S: Uhhhh, Ahhhhh miss mo na? Basa na agad puke ko Kuya Chard, kakantutin mo ko bukas diba?
C: Sige Samantha, play with your pussy now, ako bahala jan bukas tangina ka.
S: Shit ka, namiss kong minumura mo ko. Ang init ng puke ko Kuya, libog na libog na ko.
C: Show it to me Sam.

And we started video sharing. Nakalabas na sa suot kong nighties ang bilog na bilog kong mga suso. Ang isa kong kamay ay nilalaro ang basang basa ko nang puke. I miss doing this with Kuya. I reached for my dildo sa drawer and started playing using it.
Sinimulan ko sa paglick ng dildo, imagining na titi ni Kuya Chard yun. He was instructing me what should I do.

C: Subo mo Sam. Subo mo titi ko nang sagad sa puta mong bibig.

And I willingly do it. Sagad na sagad sa lalamunan ko ang kahabaan ng dildo, basang basa ng laway. Pero mas basang basa ang puke ko.

S: Kuya basang basa na talaga puke ko, gusto ko na ipasok. Kating kati na ko. I need kantot na please?
C: No, play using your fingers first. Show it to me my Samantha. Laruin mo yang mapula mong clit for me.
S: Like this kuya? Ahhhhhhhh putangina, init na init na talaga yung puke ko. Ohhhhh Kuya Chard, how I wish you're licking me right now!
C: I will lick that hanggang hindi mo na kayang umungol sa pagod Sam. Be patient, I will give you eight years worth of fuck, puta ka.

Libog na libog ako sa sinabing yun ni Kuya Sam. Maybe I don't need many guys to fulfill my fantasy. Maybe I just need him.
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Ipinasok ko sa naglalawa kong puke ang dildo na kanina ay pinuno ko ng laway ko. Marahas na pagpasok, labas, pasok, labas, pasok. Sagad na sagad kada ulos. Titi ni Kuya Chard lang ang nasa isip ko. Nakikita ko sya sa camera na sarap na sarap at mabilis ding sinasalsal ang kahabaan nya. Bukas, nasa puke ko na iyon. Pinatuwad nya ako para makita ang aking bilugang pwetan habang patuloy na nilalabas pasok ang dildo sa puke ko. Hindi ko na nakikita ang reaksyon ni Kuya Chard pero dinig na dinig ko ang sarap ng ungol nya.

C: Putangina ka Sam, lalabasan na ko, ipuputok ko to sa pwetan mo bukas. Putaaaaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
S: Yes Kuya please, sabay tayo ahhhhhhhhh sobrang sarap fuck ka Kuyaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhh
Sobrang sarap, ngayon lang ulit ako nakaramdam nang ganun kataas na libog. I dropped the call, nagwash and said our goodnights.

Saturday ng tanghali, I was already on a caf near my place kung saan sabi ko ay sunduin nya ako. Nakilala ko agad sya pagpasok pa lamang nya. Akala ko sa movies lang talaga yung parang slow motion na yung buong paligid. Pero I swear I experienced that. Not because of love or lust, I was actually looking at that golden thing in his ring finger. That was a novel piece of information na never nyang namention to me. And God, mas lalo akong naturn on and na-excite.

Am I normal?