Hate You Doc

Disclaimer: This post is half rant, half horny thoughts. Based on my real life dilemma.

There is this guy I utterly hate. He's a doctor, and I don't necessarily work for him but I work with him closely.

Background: I landed a job in the clinical research industry. Sobrang hirap ipaliwanag ng job ko but just think of it this way: I work and visit various hospitals and research centers (aka clinical trial sites) in different parts of the Philippines to make sure that these clinical trials are done appropriately as per the study procedures, and to ensure that the safety and well-being of our trial participants are protected. And it involves a lot of talking and coordinating with clinical research site leaders/principal investigators who are renowned doctors in the field.

These days, the studies assigned to me are mostly about COVID-19. Potential COVID-19 treatments (be it an infusion, pill, capsules, etc) or a new COVID-19 vaccine.

Now this DOCTOR in my COVID vaccine study. Let's call him Doc Kev. HINDI NYA ALAM ANG GINAGAWA NYA. Ever since day 1 duda talaga ako sa doctor na to. While most of my investigators are celebrated pulmonologists, he's an up and coming pediatrician with only 2 yrs of experience in clinical trials. And true enough, Kevin made my life a living hell for the past 8 months. They seldom follow the protocol. Nag enroll sila ng minor sa study na sobrang bawal. Sila nagsusulat sa nga documents na dapat si patient ang gagawa. BASTA MALI-MALI. Every time papunta na naman ako sa site nya for the week, naiiyak na lang ako. Gustong gusto ko na bitawan tong site na to, pero hindi pumapayag yung manager ko.

Itsura pa lang ni Doc wala na ako tiwala. He is too young to be a principal investigator. Maybe he's 33, or 35 lang siguro while yung mga batikan na PI ko mga senior citizen na madalas. He's a flat 6 footer, I guess. He's moreno with shiny hair and toned physique, with this tribal half sleeve tattoo na proud sya pero minsan mo lang makita sa mga doktor. I found him attractive the first time we met, think of younger and more rugged looking Romnick Sarmenta. However, natabunan lahat to ng malaking inis ko everytime may ginagawa syang mali. I hate na kailangan ko sya bantayan maigi kaya sa kanya nauubos yung oras ko. Isang narrative/document na hihingin ko, tatawag pa sya sa akin para magrequest ng Teams meeting, magpaturo at mag sharescreen pa ko sa kanya. Nakakahiya na kailangan ko magrequest lagi ng colleague na samahan ako sa site nya, kasi sobrang tambak yung trabaho and di ko na kaya mag isa.

Minsan dinadaan nya ako sa food. His site is somewhere down south (Visayas), and yung province nila has a lot of good seaside restaurants. After working hours sa hospital he would take me out for dinner together with the rest of his staff. Bilang wala din naman akong kakilala sa lugar nila, sumasama na lang din ako at least libre and masarap din yung food (oysters and gulaman yummm). Pero kahit madalas nya to gawin, hindi ko pa din magawang matuwa sa kanya.

Yung turning point happened last month, on my 7th month working with him. Bilang naresolve ko na lahat ng mali sa site na yon at naireklamo ko na lahat ng reklamo sa mga manager ko at may resolution na sa lahat, my most hated site IMPROVED drastically. From my weekly visits, naging every two weeks na kasi nabawasan na yung workload ko. Pero dahil hobby ko ang mainis kay Doc Kev, ayaw ko pa din sa kanya. Naiinis ako dahil ang bait bait nya masyado sa akin.

I hate how he gives me and forcefully feeds me pizza kahit sabihin kong diet ako. Dinadalhan nya ako lagi ng pagkain: donut, frappe, bento boxes, cakes, kahit na sabihin kong may meal allowance naman ako at kaya kong bumili ng pagkain ko. I hate the way he looks at me these days. Pag tinitingnan nya ako, para nya akong hinuhubaran. Hindi naman revealing yung suot ko. Mostly wide leg pants and sleeveless blouses, or semi formal dresses pero naka blazer naman ako. Minsan, nanghe-head to toe pa sya. There were times na sobrang in the zone ako nagwowork, then one random glance at him and mahuhuli ko syang nakatingin sa akin.

I hate the way he gets close to me. He works in his vaccine site, and I work 2 floors below him in a separate office. But I hate na ipinahakot nya lahat ng subject charts nya from the 4th floor to my office so magkatabi na kami ngayon ng table.

From time to time, may frequent staff dinner pa din na kasama ako, and I hate that I have to share a ride with him. I love being a passenger princess but damn. It's always 30 minutes na pure agony and awkward conversation.. subtle glances.. and last month sitting in the passenger seat of his Montero, I found myself feeling.. hot?? I find it hot when he calls me by my name. Ang lalim ng boses nya na lalaking lalaki. I find it hot when he compliments my body saying na umeeffect yung pagdiet and workout ko dahil ang liit na ng bewang ko. I find it hot when he asked me if we can have dinner pag nagpunta syang Manila next month for an investigator's meeting in Dusit Thani. I am so confused but I think I'm fucked.

My next visit to his site will be on Monday, and now I can't sleep. I hate that I'm excited to see him. Naiinis ako kapag iniisip ko kung anong mga pwede naming gawin kapag kami lang dalawa sa office na yon. The glasses are frosted.. there are walls/partitions sa office and walang makakakita sa amin.. the tables are wide enough.. chairs sturdy enough..

Has this guy turned me into a slut? A complete maniac? A 24 year old corporate slave fantasizing over a 35 year old doctor's cock? Manyakis na ba ako ngayon?! Hindi naman sya lugi sa akin. I'm a smol girl at only 5'1, pero mestiza naman ako saka cute naman ako sabi ng magulang ko. Officemates ko sabi kamukha ko si Rita Daniela pero may dalawa ako dimples.

Anyway back to my dilemma, sa pag iisip ko ay lumikot na nga ang mga kamay ko. While I had my fair share of sexual adventures before, never pa akong nilabasan through PIV. From clit sucking yeah a little, but I just need that cock na susundot para marelease ko na kung ano man tong dapat irelease. I started removing my pajamas, and thought of my what could have been's… or what if's with this doctor na bumabaliw sa akin.

I imagined a normal day in our office, na usually kaming dalawa lang. I imagine myself in an extra tight (and shorter than usual) skirt, and an extra thin blouse para kita nya yung lacy red bra ko. I imagined him in his usual blue long sleeve shirt rolled up to his sleeves. Now, I see that tattoo differently… I can see that tattooed arm spanking me habang nakatuwad ako sa desk nya. Or choking me while he pounds on me.

I imagined his lips sucking on my tits. While my 34B cups are on the average side, I lost count of how many times I caught him looking at it. I imagined myself being a complete slut for him. I'll wear something red and sexy underneath, and strip my clothes off all at once so I can show him and surprise him. And while he's in shock, I'll jump on him while he sits on his office chair and I'll pounce on him.. grind on him.. shove my titties on his face.. kiss him..I'll kneel in front of him and swallow him whole. I will worship this man's cock. I imagine his tattooed arm.. his hands na nakasabunot sa kin while he fucks my mouth. I'll suck him til I drool, and I'll keep on sucking him til I choke.

And I imagine him throwing me onto the table and fucking me like a toy.. his toy. Throw away those papers and stupid keyboard on the desk cause that's where he will fuck me til my eyes roll back. I'll scream his name like a slut. I'll be his fuckdoll. I'll surrender lahat ng inis ko sa kanya… and finally admit that I'm a slave for him. God, I'm a slave for this guy. I want him to use me, fuck me. I want him to suck my nipples 'til they're red. I want him to punish me for all those times na sinungitan ko sya at inirapan ko sya. I want him to own every corner of my body, leave hickeys cause he owns me now, just fuck me mercilessly. And when he gets tired, I'll be the one to fuck him and ride him nonstop while he sits on his chair like the high and mighty doctor he is. I've seen how this guy received tons of lustful gazes: from our female subjects, to female hospital staff, to fellow doctors. But I want to own this man too so I'll show him by being a good girl. I'll fuck him til he runs dry. Hindi ako uuwing Manila nang hindi napuputukan at natatamuran ng lalaking to.

And while I imagine those things.. I found my two fingers rushing in and out of my extremely wet pussy. While I lay alone here on my bed in Makati, my mind is somewhere in another island thinking about fucking this guy I used to hate.

Basang basa yung puke ko habang iniisip kong sya ang kumakantot sa akin, one pinch in the nipple and it sent me to eternal waves of ecstasy na ngayon ko lang naramdaman. Not even my most sexually experienced ex made me feel this way.

Two more days. Two more sleepless nights, and I will finally see him again. Hayyy, Doc. What have you done to me.

Shall I turn my wildest imagination into reality, and act on my feelings? I'm fucked. Send help.

EDIT 8:52AM: Currently preparing for my afternoon flight to the province. Mantra for this week is "Kaya ko 'to. 'Di ako marupok. Mairaraos namin 'to ng dildo ko. Iignore ko si Doc". Repeat mantra 100x per hour. Wish me luck!

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