French Kisses: Quatrième Chapitre

Comments on the writing will be highly appreciated. SPOILER ALERT: To those who could have read this story on a previous site, or on my blog, I have revised the end part of this.

"Hi Rain. Happy birthday," she exclaimed in her angelic voice and smiled, all the while hugging me.

A few weeks before Dane and Rebecca's wedding was my birthday.

"Hey, crazy. I heard you cancelled your meeting for this."

"Well, yeah. I'm the boss, Haha. Before I forget, here's my gift for you," giving me a large paper bag with vector prints on it. I still don't know what's with vectors that she finds so amusing.

"You're the only one who handed me a gift. A first one in years, I may say."

"Because you're special to me, wildcat," she exclaimed. And she did a good job covering it, but I didn't miss how her voice broke, as if she was on the verge of tears, "Maybe I should go find Dane."

I responded with a nod and she waved, walking away.

I looked at the package in my hands. Reaching inside the bag, I felt velvet. Taking it out, it was blue, embossed with, guess what, vectors. The package was heavy, but small, just the size of my fist. So I carefully ripped out the sticky tapes, and lifting the lid of the box, I peered what was inside. It seemed like sculpture. So I gingerly pulled it out. It was a bust sculpture of me, which could have been of Dane's, save for my long locks.

'This girl is really weird.'

So, the smiling lunatic I was, I walked toward where I think she went – which I soon regretted.

I was about to go to the back porch when I heard her giggles from the side of the house. So, instead of going out the door, I went to the window and was about to open it when I heard a male voice.

"You're crazy, Bec. I will never ever wear loose-fitting shirts."

"But, I just wanna see how it would look on you."

I can make no mistake. She was clearly with Dane. And when I looked out, I was almost shattered in pieces when I saw her arms entwined around Dane's neck. So with a drowning heart, I closed the curtain and slowly walked away. Throughout the night, I faked all smiles I flashed. When the party was over, and everything was again neat, I dejectedly submitted myself into my room and trudged my way into the darkness.

Slowly, I removed my clothes and pulled into my night clothes before lying down. With the bust sculpture in one hand, silent tears rolled down my face. Then I remembered the first day I saw her.

Dane and I were in a bar, when suddenly, I caught glimpse of a girl on the dance floor. She was dancing with all her grace, in her incomparable beauty. There's no question she has class, with her movements, and the way she was dressed, was for a real heiress. Not that she was wrapped up in elegance; all she wore was a white tank top, black skin-tight jeans, and zebra-printed pumps. She donned on her neck a black pearl necklace. Her face was free from color, wearing no make-up on really did make her stand up among the crowd. Her long, black wavy locks were following her every move. Her almond-shaped eyes were screaming how happy she was at that moment, accompanied by the laughter that comes from between her parted thin lips.

"Dane."

"Yup?" he answered, shifting his gaze to me.

"Look at her."

And he followed where I'm gazing at.

"Woah,"was all that came from him and he stood up leaving the two girls, rather bitches, whose arms were previously pinned on him. Seeing that I don't have intentions touching them, they stood up and left. I felt fascination for my cousin. He was a jerk alright, but he knows how to choose the vixens he would take out with him.

Swaying with the music, the two moved in unison. An exchange of smiles and maybe a few words, judging from their lip movements, were all I could see from the distance. I just enjoyed staring at them, at the woman locked in my cousin's arms. Dane then gave me a nod, and pulled the female out of the crowd, and plunged into the darkness of the cold outside.

I can't tell if it was love at first sight, but right at that moment, I knew I can't snatch her away from Dane. Thus, I committed her image in my memory.

The tears that were rolling continued into a stream of weeping, until sobs came, and before I knew it, I was already bawling as I held the bust tightly to my chest. The only thing I ever felt that moment was regret. It would've just taken one second for me to stand up that night, and a few more to reach where she was. If only I took that one second. If only I told Dane, "I got her." and walked to her. For seven long years, I have been keeping this love for her. I have been alone every single night wishing that I could have her with me, hugging each other throughout our nights. And another distant memory came back.

"Dane, you're nervous."

"Rain, I couldn't have done these without you. You're really great. Look at all these. This is too much, Rain."

"She'll like it. Believe me."

"You really sure you're giving Sheshe to her?"

"Of course, though I'd sure miss my pup. However, I know she'll like her. They're both pretty."

"You've poured much effort, Rain. How can I ever repay you?"

"I'm fine, Dane. Hey, hey. Here she comes, wait. I'll send Sheshe out and meet her at the door."

Their conversations were a blur to my memory, but I clearly remember when Rebecca handed her bouquet to me.

'Becky, what's your fave flower?'

'Tulips, Rain. Pink tulips.'

And my world stopped when she kissed him on the lips.

Throughout the preparations for that great day, I felt like I was the one asking Rebecca to be my woman.

'…And I'm willing to begin my eternity with you. …And I'm willing to begin my eternity with you. …And I'm willing to begin my eternity with you.' These words repeatedly rung through my ears when I faced the reality that she will never be mine. That my love for her was all but one-sided.

"But who decided I'd be hers?
I want to hate them
Cause now I can't live without her"

'Maybe it was just someone who forgot to greet me.' I breathed deep, and, without looking who the caller was, pressed the answer button.

"Hey, wildcat."

'Becky.' So with all my courage, I breathed another deep breath and answered her, "Hey, gorgeous."

"You're crying?"

"No, I actually fell asleep," I lied.

"Oh. Anyway, I hope you liked what I gave you."

"It was great Becky. Thank you."

"Rain, can you come with me tomorrow?"

"Where?"

"I'm gonna pick out the designs needed for the reception. Dane can't come."

"Hmm. Sure sure. Anything more, Becky?"

"Yeah. Can you hug me tonight? Dane's with his homies."

"Should I drive to your place?"

"I'm on my way to yours. Don't worry, I have Dane's permission."

"Where are you now?"

"Just a block away."

My heart leapt with excitement, "Okay then. Just let yourself in."

"Sure, wildcat. See you," and she ended the call. I stood up, and went in the shower room to fix myself.

I was drinking at the bar when I heard the door open. She walked in with a box, the type where cakes come in.

"I forgot to bring this to you earlier. I thought we might feast on it."

"Let me get us forks and plates."

The night went on. Her chattering about the preparations for her wedding, and I silently listened to her, nodding my head from time to time. When we were finished with a few thin slices of her cake, and downed a few glasses of champagne, we moved to my lounge and played some classic music. We were just sitting there, her feet propped up on the couch and her head rested against my shoulders, her hand swaying with the music. After a few tracks, she stood up and pulled me to my feet.

"Let's dance," was her command.

Nervously, I held her close and put my hands to the small of her back, while she rested her head on my chest, and her hands positioned themselves up on my shoulders. Everything was perfect. With her in my arms, her head prettily leaning on my chest. These were all my dream, and I'm happy, that at least for just one night, my dreams came true.

"Wildcat."

"Becky."

"You were crying."

"Hush."

"Why?"

With tears threatening to fall the surface, I told her, "Everything just came back and hit me."

"What everything?" she asked, hugging me tight, because tears were again pouring out.

"That night at the bar, when you first met Dane. I first saw you. I wish…"

I was not able to finish what I was saying because she held a finger to my lips.

"Shhh. This is no time for regrets, wildcat. Come," she pulled my hand and led me back to the couch.

She then propped her feet up and leaned on my shoulder. I managed to stop myself from crying. Maybe later, when she has left.

"Why didn't you take that step, then, Rain?

"I was nervous. I was not as social then as I am now."

"You, stupid. But you know what?"

"Hmm."

"You're my best friend, yeah?"

"And?"

"The love between best friends are far greater than what Dane and I have. You know me better than he is. You know the exact things to say every time. You know how I would exactly feel about things."

"Hmm."

"And best friends never lose each other. But somehow, thinking about it, it should have been you. You could have been my best friend and lover. Dane – I already lost the Dane I used to love. He has become this serious man with all the fun drained out of him."

It was her turn to cry. And I hugged her as tight as I could.

We spent the night that way.

"I love you, Becky."

"I love you, wildcat. Always."